We are all familiar with the term Turkey Dump: the unceremonious breakup that college kids across the country go through during Thanksgiving break, sometimes as the dumper and sometimes as the dumpee. Breakups are statistically high during the pre-holiday season, and the phenomenon doesn’t just apply to long distance relationships. Couples all over the country suffer through heartbreak right before the “most wonderful time of the year.” We’re guessing the breakups happen for one of the following reasons: (1) Heavy course load, midterms, end of the semester projects = high stress 2) Focus on careers and applying for jobs and internships, and 3) the relationship is not what they had in mind.
Whatever the reason, ladies, we all should know that there is no such thing as “out of the blue” when it comes to breakups! Although when it comes to life’s problems I have always stuck by one rule: “If you can fix it –fix it. If you can’t then get the best out of it and throw it away!” But all the pain that we feel doesn’t have to bring us down! The classic example is Elle Woods. No one has used her breakup better than Elle Woods. Not only did she persevere, she focused all her energy toward herself and then realized by the end that “If I am going to be a partner in a law firm by the time I’m 30, I need a boyfriend who’s not such a complete bonehead!” (Got to love Elle!) So here are ways to help you make the best of your heartbreak and not let it break your spirit or ruin your holidays. These ideas will help you revive, rejuvenate and transform into a better, stronger, more awesome you!
Find something to believe in
We all know that when our belief system is shattered and the person we trusted the most ends up betraying us, we need something to hold on to. Most often, we have our friends, mothers and besties to fall back on, but we oftentimes forget that the person we have the most significant relationship is ourselves! (Carrie Bradshaw references always get the point across!) Get to know yourself better. Write a journal or take up a new hobby. You’d be surprised how much you can learn about yourself.
Teach yourself something you’ve always wanted to
We all have that one thing that we feel we should have learned when we were kids. Personally, whenever I see someone playing piano, it makes me want to go get piano lessons. But after a major heartbreak it’s always good to spend time on yourself, doing what you love, but try something new so you can transform yourself into the person you’ve always wanted to be. I know girlfriends who started playing guitar or learning tango, and found themselves much happier than before. In fact, a friend of mine ended a 3.5-year relationship with a man she thought she would marry and started learning tango to divert herself. She met someone she ended up dating for a year and eventually married. This is not to say that we should all try to find someone soon after we have a disastrous break up, but it never hurts to rebound with something new to learn.
Take a trip
“Out of sight, out of mind.” As it is highly unlikely that your ex will disappear from the surface of the earth (or the college campus) right after dumping you, it’s always a good idea to take time off and take a trip somewhere nice for a long weekend. My personal favorite is to go see my grandmother. Being showered with love and cuteness that comes only from your nanaw can subdue any pain. Plus, they have seen the world and we forget that they might give us a few pearls of wisdom when we need them the most.
Follow your bliss
Was there something you did before you started dating your ex that gave you a lot of happiness? Did you work out a lot? Did you read a lot? Often we forget that relationships can be extremely time consuming. We spend so much time as a couple that it leaves us with a void once they’re gone. But that’s when you can do all the things that define you; the ones that make you happy. If you used to spend a lot of time doing quality reading then indulge in that again, fill that void!
Have faith in yourself – Focus on YOU
Very often we forget that the main reason we are even in college is to make something of ourselves and build a career. In the never-ending web of breakups and relationships, we sometimes forget that the thing that gives us the most satisfaction is that A in our toughest class. We forget to prioritize and end up losing on both ends when our relationships go awry. Again, the best example that comes to mind is Elle Woods. Having always found her happiness in the love of her life, she finds herself alone and miserable when she gets dumped the night she thought he was going to propose. But when she finds herself attending Harvard Law School as a way to get the him back, she realizes her true calling. She ends up graduating first in her class and gives perhaps the best advice anyone could ever give; “It is with passion, courage of conviction, and strong sense of self that we take our next steps into the world, remembering that first impressions are not always correct. You must always have faith in people. And most importantly, you must always have faith in yourself.”
Sources:
http://www.law.harvard.edu/news/bulletin/2001/spring/bf_04_blondes.html
http://docs.actricesdefrance.net/CecileDeFrance/Fauteuils_d_orchestre_fo06.jpg
http://www.getoverbeingdumped.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/cope-dump.jpg
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Purdue chapter.