‘Surface Pressure’ is the Oldest Daughter Anthem

I sat down to watch Disney’s “Encanto” with my little sister. It seemed wholesome, I did not expect to be tearing up after intensely relating to a cute Disney song.

When I heard Luisa sing “Surface Pressure” by Jessica Darrow it was like a slap in the face. It hit me, the oldest daughter, on another level.

The song starts off by discussing how strong Luisa is. She talks about how she never gets nervous and always completes the responsibilities handed to her with no questions.

As the oldest, we are the leaders of the family. As Luisa is expressing, we take responsibility and set the standards for our younger siblings. No questions asked.

However, “under the surface,” are struggles she is pushing back and ignoring. Things she can not present to the public because she is expected to appear put together all the time. 

“Under the surface, I’m pretty sure I’m worthless if I can’t be of service.”  

Growing up being the responsible glue of the family, you always have to be of service. You’re a full time employee. Developing this way molds an adult that feels useless without giving constant support.

“Give it to your sister, your sister’s older, Give her all the heavy things we can’t shoulder.”

Parents’ issues easily reflect on their children. Since they are so responsible, it is assumed they can handle issues that are way bigger than them. 

There is a lot put on the eldest child. And it is not easy to hold this weight while fearing imperfection.

“Who am I if I can’t carry it all?”

It becomes who you are. It becomes what you’re known as. And it makes you start to question what you are other than a service to everyone else?

“But wait, if I could shake the crushing weight of expectations, Would that free some room up for joy or relaxation, or simple pleasure?”

It is difficult to let yourself feel relaxed with the constant need to always be helping. It is a shield around your heart that is hard to break down. When it does fall, you’re a victim of guilt for letting yourself slack.

“Give it to your sister, it doesn’t hurt, and see if she can handle every family burden. Watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks, no mistakes.”

While all this is being put on the oldest child, Luisa is right, she never breaks. There will be backlash, there will be attempts to revolt. But in the end, it is how she is molded, she can not break even if she wanted to. 

“Give it to your sister and never wonder, If the same pressure would’ve pulled you under.”

Being the oldest is sacrificing a lot for your siblings. In the end, it does not matter how drained you may be.

We go through all this because we love our family. There are a lot of hardships, there’s a lot of pressure, but we endure it out of love.

This is what makes the oldest child a special type of person. An unconditional giver. 

So, go give a hug to your older sibling. They are seen as the “golden child,” and perfect all the time, but, it is a cover up. We deal with a lot “under the surface.”

Who knew Encanto could be so relatable? I get you Luisa.