Ah yes, it’s that time of the year again, when we put on our flannels, pull out our Michael Kors boots, and cry because our date has bailed on us the day before. That’s right I’m talking about Hayride. Hayride is a timeless staple in every Greek organization. While it’s notorious for pre-games in your Big’s single bedroom apartment in Beaver Hill, it is required in my sorority that babies (also known as new members) must attend Hayride sober. This may sound like the kiss of death for some, however it is quite hilarious to watch the night unfold sober. To explain to you the hilarity I’m going to give you a brief timeline of events.
9:28 p.m.- I pull up to the lobby of my sorority’s building, I am shocked by the amount of couples that have flooded the entrance. I’m overwhelmed by the amount of vests and denim, more so than by the smell of Svedka coming from his/her breath.
9:31 p.m.- My date finally arrives; mind you I had never met or seen him before. We walk out of the lobby towards College Avenue where we wait for the busses that will take us to Tussey Mountain. As I’m waiting in line with my friends, one of the older girl’s best friends drunkenly tells me that she remembers talking about the Presidential election in a fraternity’s bathroom last weekend.
10:05 p.m.-The busses finally pull up and every soul floods to the doors. It was almost worse than the crowd on Beaver Avenue after the Ohio State game. I’m pretty sure my Vice President saw her life flash before her eyes.
10:30 p.m.-As we pour off the busses, each girl heads for the bathroom. You think you’ve seen bad when half of your pledge class squeezes into the stall at a fraternity, you haven’t seen anything yet. Every senior stood in one stall, of course they went in front of everyone and got there first. While that was going on, the younger girls kept opening up the stall and banging on the door to get in. I thought a riot was about to ensue or someone would get hit so I struggled my way to get out of the crowd, and I thought it was the end for me until one of the older girls pulled me out.
10:55 p.m.- One of the senior friends comes up to me after going to the open bar. She demanded to take a picture with her G-little and I, claiming that I’m her adopted GG- little. As the only sober one in our pictures, it’s pretty hilarious to watch both girls do crazy poses with their tongues out.
11-11:15 p.m.- Every couple on the dance floor starts hooking up with one another, and I’m not talking about the hooking up like you did at your summer camp dances, I’m talking about full on make out sessions. Every time that I stepped onto the dance floor I saw a new couple sucking face or grinding on each other in front of the Tussey Mountain staff, who clearly did not know what to make of our group.
11:35 p.m.-This is the most embarrassing part of the night for me so it must be said. As I was going to the side of the dance floor to put down my cup of water, I tripped over the stage that was in front of the D.J. booth. I’m not talking about a graceful fall; I ate the carpet. Not only that, but about three (very cute) boys saw me. I explained to them that I was in fact sober; but I was also very clumsy.
12:02 a.m.-We board (sprint) onto the busses, not because we had a bad time, but because my friends and I were starving, (thank you to everyone who ate all the Doritos). As soon as my friends and I got off the bus, all of the guys and myself went straight for McDonald’s. I guess everyone had the same idea because most of my sisters and their dates were there. As I scarfed down my cheeseburger and fries, I sat there with the guys laughing about the night thinking to myself “this is what college is all about.”
No matter if you are a sober or not, hayride is always something to remember. Enjoy autumn, by finding that perfect flannel and a perfect date to top it off with! Enjoy, collegiettes!