Scoring the guy you’ve been eyeing in your English 15 class by tweeting at him or tagging him in a post will be a safe and easy snag, right? Wrong. While media continues to dominate our social lives, we are quickly becoming too comfortable with it, without becoming aware of the precautions were need to take. Unfortunately, being clingy and looking desperate are easy to spot via technology, especially for guys. Through social networking, there is a fine line between what to embrace and what to stay away from when it comes to flirting. Making all the right moves will allow you to keep him coming back for more rather than running for the hills of Mount Nittany.
Texting:
DO-
Drop hints and be discrete. Don’t throw yourself at him by telling him you’re absolutely bored and the only thing capable of saving you is hanging out with him (even though this may be the case). For example, make it seem like you’re doing something but hanging out for a little would be a definite plus, like: “At the library, but could definitely use a break later.” This way, you’ve dropped the hint, and he’ll have to take initiative and also make the effort. You won’t be the only one doing all the work, and if he really wants to hang out with you, he’ll make it happen.
Let him know you had a good time. Again, while not being too obvious. After hanging out, if you want him to know you had fun and want him to text or call you back up for another time, wait about 10 to 15 minutes and send a “ :) ” or “ ;)”. He’ll think that it’s cool you’re thinking about him after the date, without looking like a psycho stalker who already misses him after 10 minutes.
Joke around. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Especially if you just met, let him see your funny side and expose him to your sense of humor a little bit. A little sarcasm never hurt, in fact, it often challenges and intrigues guys. For example, if you want to invite him to your party say: “See, I would invite you to our party tonight, but I don’t know if you can handle it… :P”. If he can’t handle your sense of humor, he may not be worth your time. Most guys are impressed when girls have a little bit of spunk, it shows you’re your own person and aren’t just playing by his rules.
DON’T-
Text back right away. Texting him back within the minute will make it seem like you’re desperate and waiting by the phone (even if you are). If you give it a couple minutes it’ll let him know you have a life, and make him sweat a little bit. Remember: it is all about the chase. Being at his beck and call will make you predictable and easier for him to move on to the next.
Send long texts. Keep it short and sweet. Guys aren’t like girls, and they definitely don’t want to hear every detail of your life. A little mystery never hurt anybody, in fact, when it comes to flirting, it helps. For example, if you’re stressed beyond belief between exams, homework and that internship you’ve taken on, don’t let every bit of emotion out to him. Instead, play it cool. For example, instead of listing off everything you have to do that night, just simply say, “Ah, crazy busy!” It will let him know you can manage yourself and most importantly, keep your cool. Remember: Guys are usually drawn to simple and driven away by complicated.
Be too available. If he asks what you’re doing that night, don’t run over to his place right away. For example, if he says, “Hey, what are you up to tonight, wanna hang out?” Reply: “Out with friends, maybe a little later?” Texting can make you feel you are having a very personable interaction with someone, which is why we may become more vulnerable when doing it. Nobody else can see what is going on between you two and it feels private, but if you give in and see him every time he asks, you’ll risk looking desperate not only to him, but to his friends and others around you.
Facebook:
DO-
Friend request. Why not? You have nothing to lose. Friend requesting is a way of showing someone you’re interested without being creepy. However, if he accepts, definitely don’t write on his wall/poke him/message him right away because that is creepy. After sending the request and he does write on your wall, poke, or message you, you should be in the clear and good to go.
Poke him. But with caution–DO NOT over use. Poking is a subtle way to get his attention. It’s like a cyber way of giving him a little wink. Doing it once will do the job, any more times and it might as well be like you’re on the kindergarten playground poking him over and over with a twig. More than once could be annoying and make you seem not only immature, but bored and lonely.
Interact with other guys. Remember, guys want what other guys want. If the guy you have your eye on sees that you’re cool with hanging out with other guys, it’ll be an automatic plus. Any comments on your wall from guy friends or pictures with guys (not ones with you all over them) will make it seem like you’re one of the guys and a cool girl to hang out with. If your sorority sisters are the only ones making your wall and photos, he might be a little intimidated and also may think you’re surrounded by girl drama.
DON’T-
Blow up his wall. Constantly writing on his wall will make it look like you’re trying too hard and also like you’re a Facebook junkie, which could both be huge turn offs. If you want to flirt through a wall post, go right ahead, but do it wisely and don’t abuse it. An example of a small, flirty post would be an inside joke like something about your silly professor or something funny that went down in class that day. This way, you’re able to connect with him while playing it cool.
Tag him in posts. If he’s not your boyfriend, he may think this is a little intrusive and weird. Guys have to maintain their reputation on Facebook too. Tagging him in a post will make him look whipped to all his friends and undermine his Facebook masculinity. If he is your boyfriend, it’s just tacky. We get it, you’re boyfriend and girlfriend. Advertising that you’re hanging out with him through an entire social network will make it look like you’re trying too hard and may also embarrass him. Just don’t do it, okay?
Reminisce over details. Remember, Facebook basically throws all privacy out the window. So anything you say to him on Facebook is something you’re publicizing to all of his friends. Guys like keeping things private, and writing details on his wall not only lets everyone in on what’s going on between you two, but also suffocates him and could easily make him want out. Going over details of what happened on a date makes it look like you have nothing else better to do and also a bit pathetic. The mushy details could also cause him to become the target of jokes for all his friends. “Remember when we went to the restaurant and we played footsie’s under the table while you fed me spaghetti?” No, no, no. The last thing he needs are these play-by-plays of what happened on his wall. Trust me, he’ll remember.
Twitter:
DO-
Tweet at him… if you’ve known him for at least a week or two. Twitter in many ways is more simple than Facebook, so a tweet won’t seem as intense as a wall post. Also, if you tweet at him, he could be the only one who sees, unlike Facebook, where all of his friends can see everything you say to him. Only tweet at him if you’ve interacted before elsewhere, if not you may seem borderline stalker-ish. For example, if you’ve talked to him in class or at a party, a week or so later tweeting something like a small challenge or inside joke will be a cute way of getting his attention without seeming too bold.
Send a follow request. (See above: send friend request)
DON’T-
Tweet at him… if you’ve just met or haven’t yet met in person. Twitter is still new to many of us, especially to guys. So if they’re still learning the ropes and you’re already putting them in the spotlight, it’ll seem like you’re rushing into things which could freak him out. If you’ve just met this guy, twitter is not the way to pursue something with him. Many guys are still in the process of becoming active on twitter and decoding the lingo, which could make any attempt at flirting just flat-out confusing.
Tweet about him. (See above: tag him in posts)