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A Definitive Ranking of the Hollywood Chrises

Who is the best Hollywood Chris? Many outlets have attempted to rank the various Chrises, but I find them all to be WRONG. With so many beautiful men named Chris gracing our screens, it’s important to distinguish between each attractive male. I understand there are many actors named Chris, but the only ones involved in this ranking are the four gods who seem to be all over the place: Chris Pratt, Chris Pine, Chris Hemsworth, and Chris Evans.

Whew! Too many Chrises! 

How exactly does one go about ranking these men? I’m glad you asked – there is no method to my madness.

Let’s dig in!

 

4. Chris Pratt

Listen, this is difficult. Ranking four men who are such wonderful humans is no easy feat; I’m not sure most people could do it.

I love him, I do. Pratt played everyone’s favorite shoe shiner, Andy Dwyer, on Parks and Recreation and was #couplegoals with Anna Faris. His Twitter isn’t bad and his Instagram is chock full of his adorable son!

Honestly, someone had to go last and my love just isn’t as strong. So sorry.

 

3. Chris Hemsworth

Wow, Chris Hemsworth. What can I say? He plays a god and also looks like one, so what more is there?

If I’m being honest, a few months ago Chris Hemsworth would have been ranked last; I didn’t think of him as a real contender.

But then I saw the light.

 

After he posted this video to Instagram showing off not only some pretty ripped arms, but also some great humor, I realized his potential. His brother, Liam Hemsworth, tends to get attention for the Hunger Games movies and his status as one half of the hottest couples in Hollywood. But don’t forget Chris! He’s actually super funny, his marriage is also #couplegoals, and his support of Wonder Woman this summer are just some of the reasons you should join the Chris Hemsworth train.

 

2. Chris Pine

Chris Pine is underappreciated. Until recently, I was guilty of thinking, “Chris Pine, who?” But this man was in the year’s biggest, and my personal favorite, film Wonder Woman (out on DVD 9/19!) and he stole hearts everywhere.

Heartbreaking role in a superhero blockbuster? Check!

Suitor to Princess Mia in The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement? Check!

Singing and dancing, all the while telling you he is not that Chris? Check!

Grows so much facial hair he looks like a werewolf, but also remains too beautiful? Check!

Ladies and gentleman, Chris Pine is completely deserving of the runner-up slot and while some outlets believe he is the best Chris, this remains a controversial statement in my eyes.

 

1. CHRISTOPHER ROBERT EVANS

Chris Evans is the best Hollywood Chris. So handsome, so kind, so pure, so politically aware. My love for Chris Evans grows stronger with each tweet. He loves his dog, Dodger, and is a total family man.

Case in point, he began to use his nephew’s catchphrase and it is the definition of too much.

Have you heard of the left boob grab? Chris INVENTED it.

Look at that joy!

He plays Captain America both onscreen and off.

Oh, and don’t forget that time he spoke poetically about his ex, Jenny Slate.

Listen, I could go on and on about Mr. Christopher Evans, but I’ll spare you.

While there are other men named Chris running around Hollywood, these four guys are the only true Hollywood Chrises. I hope the list was scientific enough and if not, I understand. In the battle for best Chris, things can get ugly.

But always remember, the best Chris is Chris.

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