Has he stopped returning your calls? Went from a texting hero to texting zero? No, his dog didn’t eat his phone, and the chances that he got hit by a car are slim to none. Hate to say it ladies, but it’s time we put all the old excuses to rest and face the facts.
It’s the love cliché we see time and time again. Do classics like “He’s Just Not That Into You” and “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” ring any bells? Only it’s not a cliché, it’s real.
What is it over the years we as women continue to keep doing wrong? I can guarantee that each of us, if not ourselves, have had a friend, or a friend of a friend, who has experienced this. Everything in the relationship seems to be going great when BOOM, like running into a brick wall, it stops. Some of us have had experiences so bad, we may even prefer the wall. Here’s the answer to all of the mystery. What is often confusing to us ladies, is as simple as a-b-c to guys. Let’s get and down and dirty into the things that we don’t even realize we do that cause boys to run for the hills.
1. Drunk text your roommate, not your man. We’ve all been there. Great night out with your friends, feeling a little (or a lot) tipsy… who do you think of? Your guy. It seems like a great idea at the time (cue Ke$ha’s “Get my drunk text on, I’ll regret it in the morning, but tonight I don’t give a …”), but looking at what you said the next morning may want to make you throw your phone out the window. Drunk texts may be cute and funny at first, but some cause irrevocable damage. Once it’s out there, whatever you said can’t be taken back. Fact. It’s in print. Avoid that crash while you’re ahead ladies, no drunk text is worth it. Your roommate or any friend will likely laugh off any dumb stuff you say. Your prospective guy however, not so much.
2. A little mystery never hurt anyone. In fact, in the beginning stages, it helps. It’s the common mistake most of us are easily led to making. You get comfortable real quick with your guy and accidently share too much. He doesn’t want to hear what you had to eat today. He certainly doesn’t want to hear about the girl drama going on in your apartment. And that weird, borderline gross habit you have? Keep that one to yourself. Look, we all love the chase. It’s part of human nature. If you give it all up to your guy at once, there’s nothing new to look forward to. If you don’t keep him intrigued and wanting to learn more, he’ll get bored and move on. Simple as that.
3. Guys night = guys night. Period. Guys need their space, and you know what, they’re entitled to it. So are we. When he wants to hang with the guys, let him do his thing. It’s female nature to want to spend all the time you can with your guy and drop everything else, blame it on evolution. Unfortunately, guys aren’t wired this way. You can’t expect them to drop everything for you all the time and you shouldn’t for them either. Besides, do you really want to talk girls and sports over beers with all the bros? Think carefully on this one. Right, didn’t think so.
4. Presents: If it’s not a whoopee cushion, Coors 12 pack or tickets to the game, he doesn’t want it. Again, in the beginning stages of any relationship, it’s all about keeping things light. Most guys do not want to commit right away; they like to ease into things. It’s just their style. To most guys, any present, especially if too serious, may come up as a red flag in their mind. This is because presents are what couples get each other and if he doesn’t feel ready to be a couple with you yet, he may be freaked out. Feel it out. If you are comfortable enough with one another and want to get him a little something to show it, go for it. Just be weary. A funny gag gift or something that reminds you of an inside joke you two have? Totally okay. Tickets to the Yankees game? Awesome. Clothes and shoes to match? Slow it down there, lady. His and her matching key rings? Put them down and walk away from the store. Fast.
5. “I love you.” Really? ‘Cause we just met two weeks ago… Another classic example of us girls getting attached way too quickly. He may seem really into you. Maybe you’ve gone on multiple dates and you wake up to texts from him every morning. But ladies, think in general terms here. How long have you really known this guy? Sure, he may seem into you but maybe he’s just not THAT into you. Take it easy and repeat after me: Don’t freak him out. Do you or your friends repin your dream wedding sceneries and dresses on Pinterest or daydream about your big day? My point exactly. It’s not uncommon for most girls to think these things. Again, not completely our fault—damn you, evolution. Women in nature are biologically and mentally prepared for having a home and family, which is why women are so quick to become committed to their partner. But ladies, it’s the 21st century. People, now more than ever, just want to “do their own thing.” Advice? Wait for him to say it. If he really wants to, he will, and you’ll save yourself all of the humiliation of going with your impulses and moving too fast for him.