While I was going through sorority recruitment, the first real question I was asked time and time again was, “How’s your first year going?” I started to explain how it’s been so much fun, and I was suddenly on the receiving end of weird looks. Then, everyone would tell me how lucky I was and explain that their first year wasn’t like fun. Everyone I spoke to, from sophomores to seniors, agreed that their first year wasn’t great. I think it’s super important to discuss this.
I talk a lot about how fun and great college is. I do this because I honestly didn’t think I would love college this much. Growing up, I thought I would end up at a tiny college that I’d get tired of really quickly. I thought I’d look back in high school and wish I could go back to the “good old days” when life was easier. I thought I would be incredibly lonely and incredibly sad. I prepared myself for that kind of life, and it’s absolutely okay if that’s what you’re going through. I swear you aren’t alone, even if you feel like it.
College is supposed to be fun and enjoyable for everyone, and you’re meant to enjoy every moment. I feel like there’s even more pressure for this because we all watched COVID-19 wreak havoc on our lives, and know a catastrophic event like that could completely change our lives at any moment. Personally, I know I feel the pressure to make my life look and feel perfect. But in all honesty, that’s not a realistic ideal to have. Everyone has their bad days, weeks and months. It’s not always going to be smooth sailing.
College is hard. Leaving home and family is hard. You’re abandoning an entire life that you’ve created, and it’s okay to struggle with your new sense of self. Classes are hard — the material does not get any easier and it’s okay to accept that. It’s okay if this semester doesn’t feel easier than last. I thought I’d have a routine from the first semester that would make this one easier, but that’s not the case at all. I’m only taking one more credit hour this semester, but I’m doing five more hours of work a week compared to last semester. College isn’t anything like high school, and it’s okay if you’re still struggling to adapt and find your footing.
Life isn’t linear. Emotions aren’t linear. You aren’t required to grow and progress towards happiness in a linear fashion. It’s only a Monday as I’m writing this, and I already texted my mom that I just wanted to cry because this week has just been a lot. You’re allowed to live and just make it through one day at a time. I’m saying that both to you and me, because I know I need that reminder, too.
You aren’t required to peak in college. You aren’t required to have lots of nights out and all of these great stories to tell your family and friends about college. You’re just required to not give up. There’s a whole world waiting for you out there — you have an entire future ahead of you that you can make into something amazing. College life isn’t for everyone, and there’s nothing wrong with that. We’re all different and come from different situations.
I know college isn’t exactly what I thought it would be. I never imagined some days would be filled with classes from 9 a.m. until 2 p.m., and then just working on homework from 2 p.m. until midnight. I never imagined that Wednesdays would turn into days where I sometimes have meetings from 6:30 p.m. until 9 p.m. I didn’t imagine spending more time on homework than with friends, but that’s okay. It’s okay if not everything in life lives up to your expectations.
I love college. I’m happy with my life. I love the people in my life, and I’m starting to truly love how busy I am most of the time. Distance from the life you had, and the family and people you love, is incredibly hard, and you’re under no obligation to “get over it” or move past it.