Show your loved one you care about them this Valentine’s Day, not just through gifts.
Our consumerist culture urges us to spend obscene amounts of money on Valentine’s Day. What was once a small gesture of love is now much more. Societal expectations to spend have taken over our capitalistic society.
Spending money is a central part of our lives. This year, redefine Valentine’s Day to be about giving deliberately and within reason (as well as your budget).
Reflect on Valentine’s Day During Childhood
The origins of Valentine’s Day are up to dispute, but the bottom line today is to celebrate love. Celebrate love between family, friends and partners. Valentine’s Day may be a mushy holiday, but it’s nonetheless a holiday I have always been sweet on.
Tradition urges us to hand out treats to special people in one’s life. In grade school, some of my teachers used to hand out lollipops or chocolates to each student.
Each treat was used to make someone feel special on Valentine’s Day. I remember when a simple lollipop was enough for all of us.
As a child I was wide-eyed as romantic gestures skyrocketed in February.
I admired how my father got flowers for my mother on Valentine’s Day. A simple bouquet perfectly reflected my father’s appreciation for having my mother as his partner. As a little girl, I would dream of when I had someone special in my life with a love like my parents.
Their adoration and acceptance of one another was mesmerizing to me. It felt like when I was a child, Valentine’s Day meant much more.
The Transition to Consumerism
The transformations in grocery stores during holidays are truly unreal.
The second I step into a grocery store from mid-January through February, I see red hearts coating the walls and in practically every aisle. Pink and red colors swarm my senses. The red velvet cookies lining the shelves of the bakery section.
Bold letters on signs capitalizing love and romance sparkle in our eyes. The rose scented candles no longer shock me, it feels like a typical marketing strategy to me. The invention of the heart-patterned toilet paper (while fascinating) leaves me astonished.
Valentine’s Day has been commercialized to sell more toilet paper.
We reach our hands out towards the shelves looking for something that says we care. Roses and chocolate are symbols of love.
When we hand those gifts to others we also see a sparkle in their eyes as well. A sense of gratitude overwhelms us to think we did something right. We are misguided to believe through these gifts we have won.
The battle that is holiday shopping is finally over and the spending storm has passed.
Societal Expectation to Spend
The spending only gets worse for me when I am in a relationship.
Now that I have a long-term relationship, I feel the societal expectations to cough up money on gifts for my partner. I would never want to look cheap or like I don’t love him enough by not spending enough.
The bundle of Valentine’s Day gifts always makes me feel like I am not doing enough. The expectation to spend feels like it’s directly tied to how much I care about my partner.
Every holiday I feel the pressure.
Are my gifts good enough? Did I spend enough? Should I add more “filler gifts” to make it look better?
I became concerned about the quality of the gifts and typically ended up spending even more. When I shop for Valentine’s Day, I can’t help but think of a number in my head that is “enough.”
It seems like every year that number just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
The Illusions of Valentine’s Day Deals
Businesses capitalize off of the impulse buying of consumers.
During the holidays, buyers are tempted through sales signs advertising “25% OFF” or “limited time deal.” These promotions create a sense of scarcity among buyers. This appeals to our sense of urgency to buy and spend even more than we regularly would have.
They can be tempting at times, but ultimately regrettable.
Concepts like bundling convince buyers to spend more and more. We believe that we are getting more “bang for our buck.”
Many individuals are persuaded by the idea that they are saving money through these bundled deals. Given the urgency of gift buying, consumers willfully accept these “deals.”
Choose to Gift Authentically
Spending money for gifts can be much easier than spending our time and energy with loved ones. Valentine’s Day can go much further than a deluxe box of chocolate and a teddy bear.
Experiences with our loved ones are invaluable. Many gifts are temporary and (let’s be honest) easily forgettable.
Try out a new experience for Valentine’s Day. Take out your valentine on a hike through some beautiful trails.
One item on my bucket list with my partner is to practice our photography skills together. I would love to go out, visit a scenic area and take pictures of the scenery.
Numerous people insist on how life-changing concerts or live performances can be for them. Check out local bands or purchase tickets to your favorite musician’s next show together.
End your day doing something that makes your valentine happy. Stargazing can be a great romantic gesture. It can prompt more one-on-one time to talk to each other. Not only is it cost-effective, but can be much more meaningful than traditional gifts.
Sometimes the simplest gifts are the best ones.
Gift Sustainably
Home-crafted gifts and DIY projects may take more time, but reflect your dedication to that someone special through your gift. Although sometimes these handcrafted gifts may end up looking a little wonky they sure are memorable.
Do you have old magazines lying around the house? Try making paper bouquets. The magazines already have texture and color as well as a sturdy material to start you out. An easier alternative is to create your very own Valentine’s Day-themed collage.
You can be as simplistic or creative as you want. Try using the blank sides of the pages to write small poems or notes.
A gift card can go a long way. Digital gifts are a minimalistic way of showing your love.
Inevitably, letting other people pick their gifts can save a significant amount of money and time. Some of us are not good gift-givers, and that’s OK.
Having a hard time picking out a gift? Digital gifts are great for people we do not know too well and eliminate the possibility of wasting money and resources on an unwanted gift.
Upcycled gifts are my absolute favorite. Valentine’s Day merchandise is often thrown into a storage box because it is only a seasonal accessory. I try to buy seasonal gifts used to lengthen their life before they become textile waste in landfills.
Try your luck at a local thrift shop and find your valentine an eco-friendly gift.
Valentine’s Day can also be about the little things.
Cooking for your partner who traditionally cooks every night is an amazing way to appreciate them. Setting aside time to prepare breakfast or lunch for each other reinforces the idea of looking out for each other. My father would warm up the car for my mother before she went to work during the cold months.
The little ways we take care of each other can make all the difference.
Redefining Valentine’s Day
Reflect on what Valentine’s Day means to you.
Intentionally choosing to shop consciously for your loved ones this year is just as good if not better. Shopping sustainable not only pushes you to shop more thoughtfully but also looks out for your loved ones tomorrow.