Being a College Virgin

“You’re not serious are you?”


“Is it because you’re religious?”


“Are you waiting for marriage?”


“But, you don’t look like a virgin!”


If I had a dollar for the amount of statements like these I’ve received after admitting the state of my virginity, I’d have enough to pay off my college tuition.


Being a 21-year-old junior in college who's never had sex can make you feel like you’re an anomaly. In a society where hook-up culture thrives, it’s easy to feel awkward and even left out when the hot topic of sex arises. For me, I’ve never been ashamed or felt the need to lie about my nonexistent sex life. My sex status doesn’t define who I am, but it does make dating a little complicated.


Going on Tinder and meeting up with guys for the first time isn’t easy. I’m always in fear that they’re expecting the one thing that I’m not going to give them. It does, however, make it easier to filter out who’s in it for the long term, and who just wants to get in my pants. It definitely doesn’t feel good to be ghosted after telling a guy that I’m not going to have sex with him, but it hurts a lot less than giving in and dealing with the pain of making a decision that I’d regret.


I’ve been lucky enough to surround myself with people who don’t judge me for this decision, and maybe that’s why I’ve been able to remain so confident in my choice to abstain from sex. Whether you’re a virgin for religious purposes, or you just haven’t found the one that you want to share it with yet; whatever the choice may be, it’s perfectly okay. You should never feel pressured to give in and abandon your decision because someone else thinks that you should. After all, no one should make you feel bad about the choices that you make about your own body. That decision is strictly yours, and if someone’s making you feel bad about it, then you should cut them out of your life.


For all my fellow virgins out there, you’re not alone even though it may seem like it; there are more of us than you think. Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of, despite how much emphasis is put onto “losing your v-card.”


Don’t let anyone tell you when you’re ready. When the time comes, you’ll know it.