Movies are an extraordinary way to learn about life. I personally have never dated a robot before or had my memory erased, however, the films that follow such plot-lines mean the most to me.
In the places where you cannot find connections in your mind, you can find them in your heart.
- “eternal sunshine of the spotless mind” (2004)
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An all-in-one romance, sci-fi and drama, this film will have you in your feels.
Joel and Clementine fall deeply in love with each other but things quickly turn sour. There are arguments, distance and a love that is not strong enough to withstand these challenges.
Joel discovers that Clementine has had a procedure to erase all of the memories with Joel from her mind. Out of anger and grief, Joel decides he will get the same procedure.
As the results of this medical procedure ensue, we watch Joel walk through the couple’s memories and feel them slip through his fingers. He realizes quickly that this is not what he wanted.
He begins to try and find his way out of the procedure, and you will have to watch the film to see how these regrets play out.
Is the heart stronger than the mind?
As somebody who just went through their first heartbreak, this film means so much to me. There will not be a time in one’s life where they can avoid losing somebody important to them.
Oftentimes, our first defense mechanism is to rid the pain as quickly as we can. We delete the sappy TikToks, we block their number and we unfollow their cousins on Instagram.
Does this truly help though? Are the memories gone from your heart or just from your screen?
Losing someone is bound to happen, but so is the creation of memories. This film is a crucial way to discover that dealing with heartbreak should not lead you into ignorance. Gratitude is necessary in loss, you did have them at one point after all.
Joel realizes this rather quickly, and it is heartbreaking but beautiful to watch him move through the grieving process.
- “stand by me” (1986)
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This classic 80s coming-of-age (that your dad has probably seen) follows a group of four preteens who embark on a mission to find a dead body.
A weird concept on paper, but these boys are from a small rural town that has had little significance in events. Gordie, Vern, Chris and Teddy experience leech infested waters, a knife fight, a dream-like story of a pie-eating contest and a vicious dog.
However, through all of these, they also experience each other.
This film truly shows the innocence and beauty of friendship. To an average eye, it may seem boring at some points; you do not think you’ll find meaning in a campfire conversation until you can listen into these raw conversations.
The mundane moments of these four young kids are real and relatable. I remember so vividly my conversations in middle school about the schools’ top couple, but not the ones regarding my trauma dumps to friends.
It is admirable to recognize that these are the moments that make up your youth, and you need to cherish them. The friends you meet, especially while your brain is developing, will truthfully leave a mark on you for decades before you notice it.
- “20th century women” (2016)
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We all know Greta Gerwig from “Barbie” and “Little Women.” Did you know that she was an actress as well?
“20th Century Women” takes place in 1979 Santa Barbara where Dorothea is faced with the independence of raising her teenage boy. She in unsure how to go about this, and believes that “you need a man to raise a man.”
She places the task on her son’s best girl friend and a tenant in the house. The house holds four entirely different people and each effects the other.
It is a coming-of-age story that also focuses on the “no plot” aspect of one’s life. Jamie questions the clitoris, runs away and Abbie tells him about feminism and Black Flag.
When someone asks me what my all-time favorite movie is, this is the answer. The best word to describe it is comfortable. It is another film that some may say has “no plot,” for it simply moves the viewer through the lives of people in very different stages of development and shows us how they connect.
It is also extremely educational (besides the clitoris part). Life is a confusing thing to do when nobody is telling you how to do it. However, you learn that support and guidance is what makes that a little bit easier.
Dorothea tells Abbie: “and then what happens is, there’s a hard part and then it gets better.”
- “her” (2013)
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Perhaps the weirdest film on this list, “Her” tells the story of Theodore and his girlfriend Samantha who is an operating system. She does not have a human body but she has a human mind, which quickly makes Theodore move on from his divorce and fall in love again.
The films entire population has grown fond of the OSs and begin relying on them as friends, lovers, etc. Theodore finds out that Samantha serves as an OS for other people, not just for him. She is talking to thousands of people while also talking to him.
In an unconventional way, this film is swimming in lessons on love.
In fact, Spike Jonze directed “Her” as a response film to his ex-wife, Sofia Coppola (the director of “Priscilla”) after she created the film “Lost in Translation” about their relationship.
Even though Theodore is dating a robot, their relationship goes through all of the stages that human relationships do. They start flirty, self-conscious and shy. Their conversations get deeper, they sleep together and they even have “sex.”
Do not dismiss the beautiful meanings behind the film based on the unique setting. It can make you laugh and raise an eyebrow, but you will cry and you will love a lot harder.
- “good will hunting” (1997)
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Just iconic.
“Good Will Hunting” tells the life of Will Hunting. His job as a janitor at a college becomes increasingly surprising as those around him discover how smart he is. With a genius-like IQ, he finds it very simple to solve a graduate-level math equation on a hallway chalkboard where he is cleaning the floors.
Hunting, unconcerned with academics or a real career, gets arrested after a fight. Professor Gerald Lambeau had previously discovered Hunting’s talents and makes a deal with him after his arrest: If Hunting meets with therapist Sean Maguire, a friend of Lambeau’s, he will be out of jail.
Maguire is beautifully played by Robin Williams, who deems Hunting as his new responsibility and takes a chance on helping him reach his full potential.
For me, this film is a lot about pulling yourself out of what has killed you in your past so you can begin to live.
Hunting was never given this notion that what he has — intelligence, potential, strength — holds meaning. It was just existing without the attention needed to flourish. He only needed a few people to help him find this out.
Of course, it is ultimately up to the individual how they spend their life. However, the people around Hunting truly care about him enough to at least point him in the right direction: to recognize, “hey here’s what you have. It’s kind of amazing. What are you going to do with it?”
There will be times in life where you are Hunting and there will be times where you are Maguire. You are helping someone in either position.
- “inside out” (2015)
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Anger, Disgust, Joy, Fear and Sadness are all characters that live in the “headquarters” of Riley’s brain and use the control centre to make her feel certain things or make certain choices. They’re characters in all of our brains, but “Inside Out” gives us some insight into how they all come together and even conflict to make everyday decisions.
Riley is suddenly moved from her childhood town, full of recognized places, friends and experiences. She is plopped into San Francisco following her father’s new career opportunity, and this comes with a great deal of new and confusing emotions.
Would I be crazy to call this the best Pixar film?
Emotions are so complex. And hard. Why do we feel them?
As somebody who is very emotional and always trying to analyze her emotions, this film has always made me feel seen.
I especially appreciate that it’s a kids movie. It makes me feel safe and comfortable, like 18-year-old me is being informed on her current brain in a way that allows her to be vulnerable and young again.
It isn’t just educational, but it is funny, entertaining and at some points very sad. Each time that I’ve watched this as a teenager, I let loose and cry maybe a little too much for a Disney film.
- “frances ha” (2012)
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Frances is a 27-year-old aspiring dancer who has moved to New York City to chase her dreams, even if they seem unrealistic. One of the few people she has that really allows her to be herself is her best friend, Sophie.
Unfortunately for Francis, Sophie and her (ongoing, healthy, great) boyfriend move away. Frances is now forced to not just be her own best friend but in some ways her own mother. She loses any sense of coddling.
It is awkward, charming, funny and raw.
Frances is a beautiful representation of trying to bring past stages of life into new ones and not knowing what to do when the past ones begin to fade. It is an innocent look into discovering adulthood, which is something I am honestly not credible to speak on.
I imagine Frances’ struggles in moving forward was how I felt coming to college after high school. You are thrown into a new environment and what do you take with you? How do you discover what is worth keeping and what is holding you back?
This film was able to answer these questions for me in small but impactful ways.
While there are hundreds of films that can be added to this list, these seven have not left my mind since watching.
I carry them with me and find myself relating or connecting to them as new experiences arise in my life. I hope they can give you at least the slightest comfort of being seen in the uncomfortable, confusing journey that is growing up.