Dating can be really hard, especially in college. In an attempt to avoid getting hurt as frequently, here is a short guide to use when dating around.
- Good conversationalist
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One of the most important things to look out for when dating someone new is whether or not they are good at making conversation.
Yes, this is important in regard to you. But you want to make sure they can hold conversations with your friends and family.
Find a balance that works best for you.
- a good listener
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It’s one thing to talk someone’s ear off, but it’s another to be a good listener. You want someone who is going to really sit down and listen to what you have to say.
Not only that, but someone who is interested in you is going to be interested in what you have to say.
- nice to your friends
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This is a big one. When going on dates with someone you see a future with you want to see how they mix with your friends.
Your friends are one of the closest people to you in college and you’re going to want them to be supportive of who you’re seeing.
Don’t try and settle for less, eventually it will catch up to you.
- thoughtful of you
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Someone being thoughtful of you does not necessarily mean buying you gifts. One can be thoughtful by sending you a good luck text before your exam, watching the movie you really like with you or spending time with you on a long day.
These small acts of kindness come in all shapes and sizes. This means no act is smaller than another.
This is a great way to see how invested and interested they are in you. If they want to, they will.
- hygienic
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This one I cannot stress enough. It is bare minimum to have someone who is clean.
For your sake, you’re going to want someone who showers at least once a day, brushes their teeth twice a day and owns a good deoderant.
There is nothing worse than going in for a kiss with someone who has bad breath. If this is something you’re worried about with your partner, I urge you to talk to them about it.
People cannot be expected to change something when they don’t know it’s a problem.
- makes time for you
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This rule I cannot stress enough. In order to foster a strong and healthy relationship, you need to spend time with your partner.
Spending time with your partner increases communication, helps you get to know them better, and overall is an enjoyable experience when you’re with someone you like.
if they rarely want to see you, they probably aren’t that interested. This also goes for texting as well. If you’re interested in someone you’re going to want to know how they’re doing and check in.
Don’t sell yourself short with someone who barely puts in effort.
- open to compromise
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Compromise is one of the most important components to a healthy relationship. Without compromise, either you or your partner is at risk of their feelings being shoved under the rug.
Not only this, but compromise can be one of the biggest acts of kindness. It is their willingness to not do something they like in order for you to do what you like that is so sweet.
Remember, compromise is not a one-way street. You need to compromise as well in order for everything to work.
- Respects your boundaries
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Finding a partner that respects your boundaries is very important for the survival of your relationship. It’s easy to set some boundaries aside because you’re in the honeymoon phase and you really like this new person. However, by doing so you are setting up your relationship for failure because.
When seeing someone new, pay attention to how they react when you express a boundary. Maybe you’re not a fan of going out and they keep begging you to go out or maybe you don’t like PDA but they insist you guys hold hands in public.
Whatever it is, set your boundaries and likewise respect theirs.
- supportive
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This may not seem like a big deal in the beginning but being with someone supportive is really important. You want someone who is going to have your back during the hard times and is going to show up for you.
When you’re feeling proud and accomplished, you’re going to want to share those happy feelings with someone. That someone should include your partner.
- shares your interests
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As the saying goes: opposites attract. But is that always true?
Sometimes opposites do attract, but just incase, it can’t hurt to pursue someone who shares your interests. These things could be as small as movie genres, activities, or even kinds of food.
If you love all food, it’s going to be annoying to eat out with a picky eater. This obviously isn’t an end all be all solution, but it also might not be the worst thing in the world.
I hope this helps you when approaching your dating life. Enter every date with an open mind, but also don’t just let anyone in.
Who you choose to date is a reflection of your values of others and internal value of yourself. Be wise and have fun.