Renee Yohe spoke to a crowd of over 100 students and community members about mental health issues last week in the PSC Auditorium. Yohe, who struggles with depression and self-harm, was the inspiration for the non-profit organization To Write Love On Her Arms. She told the story of her continuing recovery and performed songs inspired by her struggle, in hopes of helping others who are experiencing similar issues.
“There is not a terminal uniqueness in my story and it is something everyone can relate to one way or another,” she said.
It all starts with the simple choice of fear over love, she said. Mental health issues thrive on fear and fear is derived from lies that we believe about ourselves. Lies like: You don’t deserve love, you don’t matter, you are alone and bad feelings should be ignored. Some of these lies began to take root in her mind when she was very young.
“Life doesn’t wait for you to grow up to start lying to you and attacking you,” she said.
As a child, she hid her fear behind a mask to give others the impression that she was perfectly fine. She said she was like a beautiful house: Nice on the outside, but black mold inhabited the inside. Instead of dealing with this black mold, she just febreezed it. Eventually, black mold can no longer be ignored. She needed an outlet for her feelings and began self-harming as a teenager to deal with the pain.
Back then, her goal in life was to survive it. Since her recovery, she sees the importance of thriving in life. She said there is a tendency to see life as a storm we just have to weather; we constantly predict the next storm or dwell on the one that just passed. However, focusing on the positive instead of the negative is the first step to turning your life around.
“We’re not victims of life. Life isn’t happening to us. We’ve made choices that have attracted all these people and things,” she said.!In order to thrive, we need to change our thinking. For example, she often has terrible anxiety before speaking on stage. Instead of focusing on her doubts, she plays a game called “Isn’t It Amazing?”
She thinks: “Wow, isn’t it amazing that I get to be here and share my experience with other people? Isn’t is so amazing that I’m not flipping burgers or doing something that doesn’t matter to me? Wow, I’m so grateful these people care about what I have to say. Isn’t it amazing?”
Another way to thrive is to find a healthy outlet for your feelings, such as a counselor or friend who will listen; Talking to others will help you realize you aren’t suffering alone. We are all in life together, she said. It was a friend, David McKenna, who helped her begin her journey to recovery.
“I challenge you to allow others to go on this journey with you. I challenge you to play isn’t it amazing together…I challenge you to do what you always wanted. Be in tune with and excited for who you are and who you want to be. Because why not?”