Shyness can be a curse, believe me I know. My high school art teacher has even admitted to me that her goal for the year was to get me to talk and she failed. In college, I sat in the corner and secluded myself from my classmates and they all wondered why.
Shyness is in your head; there is no reason to be shy. I know you are just trying to protect yourself from getting hurt, but in reality you are getting hurt and you’re doing it to yourself. Shyness causes so many to miss out on great life-changing opportunities and makes them feel worse when they realize they did.
I have a ways to go myself as far as breaking out of my shell, but at the same time I’ve still come a long way. So here are some tips I’ve learned to break out of your shell.
1. Be More Approachable
The first instinct many of us shy people have when it comes to class is sit on the side, the corner or the back to take attention off of ourselves. Furthermore, when the teacher starts calling on people we put our heads down and pretend to be busy taking notes so we don’t get called on. Our heart races as we pray the teacher doesn’t call on us.
Advice: Stop it! Stop sitting on the outskirts of the classroom. Sit in the middle and have more inviting body language. When you sit in the middle you become more approachable. People will sit next to you and maybe even talk to you. You could make a friend and have someone to talk to rather than being alone with your thoughts.
2. Be Brave, Speak Up
Many are afraid to talk because they are afraid of what others will think of them. In high school you may have been made fun of; you had an embarrassing obsession, you weren’t pretty enough or you had a weird quirk.
If there is anything I’ve learned, people in college are less likely to pick of you or exclude you for stupid reasons. In fact, many of them may be a lot like you. People who choose the same major seem to have a lot in common.
Speak up more and don’t be so afraid of being judged. Your own mind may be judging you more harshly than your actual peers will. Don’t let your bad memories of the past take away your happiness in the present and future.
3. Find an Interesting Conversation Topic
Talking may still be hard. The question remains: what do you talk about? You don’t want to bore people. That won’t make them want to be your friend. There are plenty ways to get a conversation started.
There are some things you can always talk about to almost anyone. You can discuss your weekend, topics from your class or general topics such as current events. If you’re tired of the same old discussion topics, try to find out some of their interests that you also have interest in. Some ways to do this is listening to what they talk about with others, looking at possible advertisements on their clothing or noticing activities that they may be participating in.
4. Join a Club
It may still be difficult to find things in common, but there are still ways to assure that you can find common interests with people to know what to talk about.
Join a club that participates in activities you have interest in. If you join a club centered on a certain topic chances are you will have that in common with all the other members. Furthermore, the members will be glad to know you are passionate about the same thing they are. It will excite them. Many clubs can turn out to be like families with all of its members supporting one another.