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Are Our Standards Too High? – The Impact of Rom-Coms on Our Love Lives

Recently, my roommates and I were watching one of my all-time favorite rom-coms Love, Rosie when one of them said “this is why my standards are so high.” This really got me thinking because I, like my roommate, am obsessed with rom-coms, and the same thought has crossed my mind before. However, I think as women, and in our common experiences, we begin to see romantic gestures and common manners as “too high of standards” with the bar in our normal lives set on the floor. Although I am guilty of falling for almost every male lead of every rom-com I watch, no character is without their flaws. It is not that women are looking for the “perfect man,” but rather someone who makes an effort to show they care (and if they look like Sam Claflin, that would also be a plus).

“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” – When Harry Met Sally

A common thread in most rom-coms is a dramatic moment in which the main characters realize they are truly in love, culminating in a grand gesture of this love. This leap the characters take, like Kevin in 27 Dresses or Tim in About Time, takes bravery and makes my heart skip a beat each time. This declaration, seen above by Harry from When Harry Met Sally, ends with the two being together. All we really want is someone to tell us we love us unconditionally (or even conditionally), and I certainly do not think that makes our standards of love ridiculous.

“I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly.” – You’ve Got Mail

Perhaps the key to having a romance fit our “high standards” is to take the leap of faith and be okay with being vulnerable when it comes to love. Even those with their guards up in rom-coms let their guards down by the time the movie is over. Although the guy you are seeing may not be Noah from The Notebook, maybe that isn’t a bad thing! Noah could be stubborn and had his faults, as no one is without those faults, but chose to do better for the sake of love. Don’t be afraid to take the leap without comprising your standards of what you believe you deserve because chances are your standards are not too high at all.

Hannah Lynch

Providence '23

Hannah is a junior at Providence College majoring in Political Science and Business Economics. She enjoys traveling, running, reading, baking and spending time with friends!
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