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Breaking Up: A Guide to Ending Up Happy

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Portland chapter.



Breaking up is hard to do. Eventually, you will have to cross this bridge at some point in your life. Relationships are wonderful, happy things, but when things go a little less than perfectly, I’m here to help make it a little easier on you.

First of all, make sure you take the time to think through your decision, but don’t rethink it! Whether it was your decision or not, there must have been some reason (or a few) why you two broke up. If it wasn’t your decision, it’s healthy to go over this in your head, but don’t let it take over your life! If it was, don’t let mulling over the good times conflict with the reasons why you decided to end it.

Second, it’s totally fine to go through what I call a “mourning period.” Breaking up is rough. It’s fine to cry, get mad, and feel regretful, sad, or resentful, but try and let go of theses feelings as fast as possible. Deal with your emotions in a positive way; rather than shutting yourself off from the world, tell your ex you need some space alone and go hang out with friends, family, or take a little you time.  

Third, try some things to get you back to the state of being exactly who you are. Maybe write all your feelings down, be honest with yourself, and you’ll begin to see that the sadness is slowing down. Take this opportunity to learn something, either about yourself or from the relationship. What did you find that you now know you want in a future relationship? Make a list of daily inspirations that help remind you that your ex was not the right person for you. It’ll help keep you in check when you’re having a bad day. Think of advice you would give to a friend in this situation and apply it to yourself.

Out with the old and in with the new! Maybe you have a few pictures or a stuffed animal or piece of clothing that has to do with your ex. It will be hard at first, but removing clutter, both relating to your relationship and just random stuff, will help you get on to a new beginning. Don’t let yourself dwell on painful memories. Whether you plan to keep old items or not, put them either in a box in the far reaches of your closet, or better yet, (if you’re comfortable), in the trash can or give them back to your ex. It won’t help you to have the past lingering around when you’re trying to just be you!

Finally, find happiness elsewhere in your life. Pick up an old hobby or start a new one! Spend time outside; exercising will keep good endorphins flowing through your body, which naturally keep you happy. Read a book, go to a concert, take some pals and road trip to the beach. Do whatever you need to do to make you happy. And with that, my dear readers, you will have successfully gotten over your relationship. It may not be easy, and it will take time, but know in the end that you have to do what’s best for your heart! Stay happy :)

Hi! I'm Avery Aresu, a Junior English Major with a Fine Arts minor at the University of Portland. I'm a writer for the Portland chapter of HerCampus and I'm really excited to be part of the team this year. I'm originally from Auburn, WA, but being here in Portland for these past three years has made me fall in love with Oregon. I love nothing more than drawing and painting, and I spend my free time hanging out with friends and my boyfriend, learning new gluten-free recipes, reading classic literature, going on adventures, bouldering, archery, and going to concerts. Portland is the most wonderful place to be, and I'm excited to share more about it! :)
Hailing from eastern Washington, Julia attends the University of Portland in Oregon, as a Communication Studies major with an emphasis on Journalism. As a magazine and book junkie, Julia reads everything (and anything) she can get her hands on, especially those passionate on young adult culture and entertainment. A woman that gets stir-crazy easily, Julia has been fortunate to have traveled many summers in a row to foreign countries, including a study abroad course in Austria, Germany, and Great Britain. Since a ripe age, she has grown and cultivated her passion and dream of working for a magazine and spreading awareness as well as happiness through the tips of her fingers. Always finding time for herself, Julia can frequently be found quoting movie lines (most frequently Will Ferrell or Vince Vaughn), having a 90's dance party with her roommates, or rereading "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" for the 40th time.