When I started college, I expected it to go as traditionally as possible. I was going to move into the dorms with my new awesome roommates, stay for four years, and graduate on time. I had done everything in my power to prepare for my freshman year, and subsequently the rest of my seemingly daunting college career. I had all the right meetings with the right professors and advisors, ensuring that my spring semester, the one I actually had control over, went perfectly.
Everyone knows that college is expensive, and our school definitely doesn’t hold back on various fees and charges that are seemingly useless to us (but hey, if my tuition can pay for those dope balloon arrangements, TAKE MY MONEY). Because of the inevitability that my family would not be able to pay for the rest of my spring semester’s tuition by the time I needed to register, I made the very difficult decision to stay home my sophomore year and work to save up for the rest of my tuition costs.
I slowly revealed to my friends that I would not be returning to school like everyone else. Everyone close to me was just as disappointed in my decision as I was, but they understood the sacrifice I needed to make in order to continue my education in the way that made the most sense for me and my family.
Just a warning: if you do plan to do this in the upcoming months or a circumstance arises where one of your friends does this, it doesn’t get easier as the year comes to a close. I can’t speak for my friends, but personally, I just got sadder and sadder as my time passed. Saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, especially since these people were some of my favorites.
That year, like most things in a person’s adult life, seemed like it would last an eternity when I first started. I thought I’d never make it back. I wasn’t positive when I’d see my friends again. I knew I had planned on coming back, but would I? What if something disastrous came about that caused my plans to have to change at the last minute? I couldn’t bear these thoughts, but still they ensued.
So, when I got home and began my life again, I got a job with my recurring summer gig at a law firm in Texas. I had decent wages, a solid job I knew how to do, and some of my favorite co- workers I’ll probably ever have. At least the summer wouldn’t be too bad, right? As any summer does, it passed way too quickly. Before I knew it, I was barely making theregistration deadline for my local community college and was kind of freaking out. Long story short, I talked with my boss later that week and he agreed to let me stay as long as I provide him my schedule, and he would be willing to work around it so that I could work part time while going to school.
Luckily, I ended up getting all online classes and was able to work full time; however, it didn’t start that way, and I was working just in the mornings and then saving the afternoons for my schoolwork. Later on of course, I realized this wasn’t going to cut it if I wanted to return to school and continue my major and graduate on time, as I was absolutely certain I was going to do so. I got a second job working at a fast food restaurant.
Working two jobs and going to school was great, and it made me feel like I was truly doing something with my life, but it sure as hell wasn’t easy. My schedule was so hectic that I endedup working at the law firm from 8-12 in the mornings, going home, taking a three hour nap, getting up to go to work at the restaurant from about 4-10 at night, then coming home and immediately crashing because I was so exhausted from standing up for 6 hours. This left me with about zero time to do my homework, especially since both of these jobs were seriously draining. This left me with all four of my online courses worth of homework to do on Saturdays, and then still be expected to socialize with either my friends or family on Sundays. Saying “it was difficult” is such an understatement. But there was hope just around the corner because my boss at the firm told me one day, “We’re gonna need you full time starting today, can you do that?” Of course, I jumped at the opportunity and immediately said yes. That night I quit my restaurant job and my life became slightly less hectic and allowed me to focus on getting good grades so I could get credits back in Pittsburgh.
Enough about my schedule, let me get to the juicy stuff.
Even though some of my friends kept telling me how I was doing so much more than everyone else, I was getting ahead of the curve, etc. I felt like I was wasting my time because I wasn’t with my friends and I wasn’t doing what I’m really, truly passionate about: screenwriting. I can’t even tell you how many times I wanted to quit. It had to have been at least 10 times. I had a couple of scarring moments where I royally screwed up, but I stayed strong. Education moment: sticking around after a shi##y time gives me some of the most rewarding lessons that can’t be bought with education. Although education is important, life experiences are so much more valuable.
The main reason I think I was so successful with my plan to return to Pittsburgh was because the longer I was away from the atmosphere, my classes, and my peers, the harder I yearned to go back. That one sliver of hope was my fighting chance to go against the stereotype of a gap-year-turned- college-drop- out. And even now, as I write this in my apartment in Pittsburgh, I’m still not really that sure of my future. I moved back, I go to class, I work part time, and I see my friends nearly every day. I’m astereotype gone wrong! I actually did what I set out to do.
Of course, I doubted myself significantly in the past couple weeks, as I’ve been freshly thrown back in the mix of cinema and graduation credits. I literally almost dropped out a couple times, in the past four days, no less! However, I slept on it; and when I woke up, motivation hit me. I, with help from friends, have created an idea for my writing that surpasses everything I’ve thought of before – something I think might carry my into my future.
So, kids. Don’t give up. Keep going. If you need to take a break, take it. Mine was against my wishes, but I really did need it. I will warn you, though: even if you want to quit, just take a break. Go outside, talk it over with a few of your friends or your parents or whoever you trust most, then go to bed. Never, ever, make rash decisions in the heat of the moment. In my experience, they never end up going as planned and you end up in a deep a**hole in the ground you never knew was there.