When my ex and I were together we were great. Together we ruled the world. He always told me how much better of a girlfriend I was than his ex, Shawna, a girl he dated all throughout high school who I knew as well. During the time of our relationship he meant so much to me, and I adored the compliments. I wanted to be a better girlfriend than who he described as his ex. Two weeks before my birthday, my world was shattered when he dumped me on Facebook. Did our relationship mean so little to him that social media was the only way to end it?
For months I tried figuring out what I did wrong. Who was this person I was in love with?
One day I decided to see what Shawna was up to and I went on her Facebook page. She was married to an amazing man she met at college. My stomach dropped when I saw her beautiful wedding photos, I was hurt for many reasons. For one thing she was so happy. How could someone who dealt with my ex be so happy? By this time I realized that my ex was only into himself and the feelings of others meant nothing to him. I wondered if I would ever find love or happiness. This was my first adult relationship, and it was my first adult break-up, it really hurt me. I spent many nights crying over him.
One October night I knew the tears had to stop. I needed to start healing, I needed answers about my ex. He was always so secretive about who he was underneath what he showed me. I knew of only one person who knew him better than anyone else. I needed to talk to his ex. So I sent her a friend request on Facebook and was shocked to see how fast she accepted my request. I knew the next step was to message her. I told her about the breakup and how devastated I was. She understood completely and was so understanding. I felt awful for believing the lies he told me about her. Shawna gave me another outlook on who he was, I needed that to move on. She listened to my rants, and never once said anything bad about him. Actually, we never say anything bad about him. Our friendship isn’t about bashing our ex. Shawna has really helped heal me. We live in different states, but she sends me songs to make the bad days go by faster and funny videos of her husband to make me believe in true love again. Our friendship is completely unlikely but very special. I was so excited when Shawna announced that she was pregnant! I know that she will be a great mother because of how kind and giving she is. I wish we would have talked more in high school. I’ve learned that there are two sides to every story and that friendships come in the most mysterious ways.
Photo courtesy of Shawna and Bill Utermark