Most people would agree that breakups suck. Coming from a girl who has had her fair share of “It’s not you, it’s me” and “I need time for myself,” I know it does suck, bad. You break up and you feel completely vulnerable and helpless. You’re alone and you have to start everything all over again. Be single, go on dates, fall for a guy, rebuild trust. Or you vow to just be alone forever. You replay in your mind all of the things you did together and then sob yourself to sleep thinking that no one on this earth could possibly understand you like he did.
One of the few consolidations you have, however, is knowing that he isn’t with someone else either. And you use this small detail to make yourself feel better: At least he’s alone too. Maybe he just wanted to be single. I’m sure we’ll get back together. He can’t get any better than me.
Then it happens. You get the text from your friend or you happen to see that relationship status change and your heart feels like it just exploded.
“Joe Crappy-Ex Smith went from single to in a relationship.”
If you’re anything like me, you’ll probably go through a number of emotions after you recover from the initial shock. First, you might cry, and then you might curse him, that girl, and then yourself out for not being good enough. All things which are normal when you find out that the person you loved and gave so much to actually does want to be in a relationship – just not with you.
You’ll feel really low for a while. You might even see some photos of them looking happier than kids in a candy store while you sit in your room looking at said pictures. And people might try to make you feel better, but you know that no matter what they say, you’re still the one that was dumped. You’re still the one that wasn’t good enough for him and you don’t know what you could have possibly done better.
But that’s where you’re wrong. There’s nothing you could have done.
If you weren’t good enough for Joe Crappy-Ex Smith than Joe Crappy-Ex Smith isn’t good enough for YOU. Think about your dream man that you mule over in your head from time to time. I’m pretty sure that this dream man won’t make you feel bad about yourself. And he sure as hell won’t want anyone else, because your personality, sense of humor, and overall awesomeness are enough to last him a lifetime.
If you weren’t good enough for Joe Crappy-Ex Smith then he obviously didn’t want to make an effort to care about you. Why would you want to be with someone who feels burdened by loving you? How can you depend on someone to be there for you a long period of time if they don’t even feel the need to return equal love and affection? The right guy for you will love you just as much as you love him.
If you weren’t good enough for Joe Crappy-Ex Smith then you weren’t the one for him, and he clearly isn’t the one for you. The right person for you wouldn’t even think about leaving you and dating someone else. You would be enough. But Joe Crappy Ex Smith didn’t get a new girlfriend because you aren’t good enough. Sometimes people grow out of love. Sometimes people wouldn’t know a good thing from a crappy thing even if it hit them between the eyes. And sometimes as much as you wish it wasn’t the case, people just aren’t right for each other.
But the bottom line is, if you know that you’re an amazing person, don’t let Joe Crappy-Ex Smith and his new girlfriend give you doubts about your worth. Chances are you’re much better off, because you weren’t right for each other. And later down the line when you get over him or find a new love you’ll laugh and thank fate for stepping in.
I’ve found that love is something to be had, not something to be chased. Because if it’s a sincere and genuine love, it’s worth keeping.
So ladies, don’t let Joe Crappy Ex-Smith and whats-her-face get you down. Just worry about making yourself happy. Because you don’t need someone else’s approval to be good enough for anything. Be good enough for yourself, and that will be good enough for whoever wants to be with you.