So you’ve been dating someone for awhile and the infamous question “What’s your number?” comes up in conversation. Maybe it’s curiosity, maybe it’s for your own sexual health, or maybe, like me, you’re jealous and want to know who they were, what they look like, if they were better than you, and where they live. Those are all logical reasons for wanting to know your partner’s number, but what does “the number” actually mean?
For starters, there seems to be this strange double standard with men and women. If a woman’s number is too low they are considered a prude or even assumed to be lying, and if it’s too high they’re labeled as easy or as my mother likes to say, “she’s a hoochie.” So basically, you guys are telling women that neither way is ideal. It’s like asking someone, “Do I look fat in this?” There’s no right answer! Men’s digits are looked at in a completely opposite way. A high number suggests they are a sex god while a low one screams, “I have no game.”
One prominent argument as to why a high number = harlot is the idea that the higher the number, the more likely you are to have a sexually transmitted disease. Well, that is not necessarily true. In fact, there are plenty of people who acquired an STD from their first and maybe only partner, while there are some who have had many partners and are perfectly healthy. Back whenever there was no such thing as “protected sex” or any type of birth control, numbers truly did matter because diseases were spread easily and pregnancies were more common. However, today, with so many preventatives and safety precautions, sex can be more than just an act to repopulate the planet; it can purely be an act for enjoyment.
When I sat in with the boy’s club baseball team, they all agreed that the highest number of sex partners a girl should have is between 5-6. They actually guessed higher than the average; according to a study done by the National Center for Health Statistics, the average number of sex partners a woman has in her lifetime is four, while a man’s is seven. Also, according to a Kinsey Institute California State University study, the average male loses his virginity at age 16.9, while the average female loses hers at 17.4. Assuming that these studies are accurate, that would mean most women would have one sex partner each year from the average time of losing her virginity until she graduates college. Let’s say you’re up to five partners, for women that has already surpassed the average number. What I’m trying to prove here is that your number really does not matter, as long as it is in reason.
Here’s an example that may help put this whole concept into perspective. When the average girl is in college, she goes out about 2-3 times a week. Multiply that by 4 weeks, which means she’s going out between 8-12 times per month. Multiply by 12 months and you have 96 – 144 times per year that this girl is going out a year. Now, out of those 144 days, she sleeps with two different guys, one per semester. Multiply that by the 4 years and college and you’re DOUBLE the so-called “average sex number.” My point is this: having sex with someone is a choice and as long as you agree to it and are safe and having fun, embrace it. After all, sex is meant to be enjoyed and can also be a killer workout. Next time you have “the talk” with your partner, make sure to keep an open mind; if they’ve been practicing safe sexual activities, then don’t judge them!
Photo Credits:
http://www.beyond-bananas.com/2011/06/14/the-number-game/
http://datingwithdignity.com/tags/dating/