So, you’re a virgin in college? Virgin. Throughout my entire life, the connotations for this word have changed dramatically. Back in the day, if you weren’t a virgin you were automatically a huge sl*t, and it was the biggest news in the middle school lunch line (ugh, so young). Towards the end of high school, nobody really talked about being a virgin or not being one. It was this hushed “mum’s the word” kind of deal. Everyone assumed the long-term couples had sex and everyone else was a virgin. Then college happened… and no one was a virgin anymore. One day it was the norm to be a virgin and the next day if you were a virgin you were basically a bald eagle facing extinction. How did that happen?
Nowadays, those people that are still virgins in college are seen as outcasts, in a way, people that aren’t facing the social norm. But the thing is you aren’t an outcast for being a virgin; you’re awesome. For whatever the reason is that people continue to be a virgin in college, it is more than okay to stand by that ideal and continue on with your choice of path. To reassure you that it is okay to be a virgin, here are five things you can tell yourself when you get down in the dumps about your inexperienced sex life.
1. Random hook ups aren’t for everyone. Now you may see everyone going out for the weekend with the “bae of the week,” but don’t fret because you aren’t missing out on anything. You could be constantly going through significant others like everyone else or you could wait. One thing to keep in mind is when you avoid the randoms you can finally find someone who will be sticking around for a while, and that will make it that much better once you two actually get together.
2. Focus. Without having sex on your mind, you have time to focus on yourself. Being a virgin gives you the time to not obsess over scratching that itch and find out who you really are. You don’t constantly have your judgment clouded by this need to find someone to sleep with. College is the time to learn how to be independent and form yourself, focus on making it an “I” not a “we.” As Samantha from Sex in the City would say, “I love you, but I love me more.”
3. The list. By still being a virgin, you have slept will “X” less number of people than the person next to you. By the time you get married, you probably don’t want to have a list of 30 people you have slept with other than your significant other. Or forget all the people you’ve slept with because the list is so excessive. By being a virgin you are saving that number from growing exponentially.
4. The no-no’s. YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BEING PREGNANT OR GETTING SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES. (OMG PHEW!) If not having to constantly worry about being pregnant, buying Plan B after a bad night, or receiving a possible STD from the guy next door doesn’t reaffirm you why it’s okay to be a virgin, then I don’t know what will.
5. Relationships. A big worry many virgins have is the idea that they will never be able to find a relationship because no one wants to date a virgin, or not have sex within a relationship. All lies. Being a virgin won’t keep you from the love of your life, and if it does then they were not one for you anyways. I have learned that people worth being with will stay with you whether you are having sex or not. So, don’t give in if you don’t want to just because that won’t make a significant other stick around.
So if you want to remain a virgin, go for it! If you do want to lose you v-card, I advise you to proceed with caution and choose wisely. You’ll always remember it. However, being a virgin is completely okay, so wave your card proudly and continue on doing what you don’t do best.