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Sex + Relationships

Tips for Keeping the Spark Alive in a Long-Distance Relationship

We all know the feeling of having two separate lives at school and at home. As summer quickly approaches, all of us lovebirds are thinking about the time we will have to spend doing FaceTime calls and virtual dates with our significant others. The distance can be challenging, especially for newer couples, but having the right mindset and putting the same effort into your relationship as you would if you were together can help make long-distance manageable and even fun!

Have ‘the talk’

You both know that soon you will not be within walking distance of each other, so why avoid the conversation? It can be hard to talk about long-distance when there is such a negative connotation around it, but if you want your relationship to last during your time apart, having this conversation is essential. You can start by making sure that you are both in it for the long haul and willing to continue your relationship into the summer. This kind of direct start will give you both peace of mind and help the rest of the conversation to go a lot smoother instead of just ‘beating around the bush.' Next, you can ensure that you have clear boundaries in place, especially if you have experience in open relationships. This will also clear up any possible confusion and save you from related conflicts in the future. Finally, make sure that your partner knows that you are committed to them and will be putting in the effort to keep your spark alive. It can be tricky when you aren’t physically together but letting them know that you care about them enough to try will make a world of difference.

Plan a visit

Planning a trip ahead of time can be difficult since many of us spend the summer interning or working, but establishing that you want to reconnect over the summer can make the time apart seem a lot more manageable. If you are only a couple of hours away, setting a date may be a lot easier; if you’re like me and your partner is in another state, you may have to stick to more general dates. Planning a trip to meet their family or see their hometown can be a very exciting step in your relationship, so having that as a plan for the summer can help you advance in your relationship and develop a deeper connection.

Virtual date night

If the pandemic has been good for anything, it is making us masters of creative virtual events. Your monthly dinner dates don’t have to come to an end just because you are long-distance. Getting creative to keep date night a part of your routine can be fun and another way to show your partner that you care and are still putting effort into your relationship. To take your date night to the next level, you and your S/O could decide on a dish that you both attempt to cook or decide on a restaurant you both have near you and order takeout from that place. This with allow you to feel more connected to each other during your date and make it feel more personal than just eating together on FaceTime would. You could also make use of programs such as Netflix Party that let you watch a TV show you movie at the same time while also being able to chat through the extension as well. Date night is essential for spending valuable time with your partner whether you are physically together or not, so put on a cute outfit, get some good food and enjoy a nice movie date together!

Avoid text arguments

We are all guilty of text fighting every once and a while, but for a long-distance relationship, this can be detrimental. It is normal and healthy to have arguments, and you should never feel like bringing up an issue with your partner is harmful to your relationship. However, text messages are very easily misinterpreted and can lead to conflicts lasting a lot longer than they should. If you’re busy and unable to call your S/O, it can be helpful to wait until you have free time to start the conversation. This will allow you time to reflect on what you or your partner is upset about. It will also allow you to begin and finish the argument all in one conversation without allowing your words to get lost in the translation of texting, especially if you are attempting to text while you’re focused on something else. If you live close to each other, you will make sure your issues are resolved face-to-face, so don’t let long-distance keep you from having the productive quarrels of a strong relationship.

Stay romantic

Without physical intimacy, it can be harder to feel like romance is still alive in your relationship. To keep yourself and your partner feeling close to each other, you can get innovative about how you choose to express your feelings for them. For traditional romantics, sending a love letter or package could be a unique way to show your affection. Texting and calling every day can be crucial in maintaining communication and keeping each other in the loop of your lives. But taking the time to send a handwritten letter or gift can help show your S/O that you care about them and still value the romance in your relationship. Another option to stay intimate is to send each other sexy text messages. If you are doing this, it is necessary to make sure you are comfortable and don’t feel pressured into doing something you do not want to do. It should be fun for both of you, and creating this kind of sexual tension can make your reunion even more passionate and exciting.

Hi! I'm Grace and I'm a sophomore majoring in psychology and minoring in creative writing. Some fun facts about me are that I plan on attending law school, I like to sing and play guitar, and I've lived in five different states!
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