The three people staring at me, while all sophomores, are all different. Mike Zolovich dons a black sweater over a fitted grey V-neck, Liz Moore has her gorgeous red hair pushed off her face, legs curled up in her chair, and Alan Shalkey is out-stretched on his chair. While all three encompass people of different ethnic backgrounds, majors, and interests, they all share a common factor: all, at some point in time, experienced bullying. What is bullying? Sure we see it enough in the news: a headline or two about the repercussions of bullying. We shouldn’t be seeing it at all. Just this past month two teenagers committed suicide because they were bullied for being gay. They were bullied for being who they are.
Endless support poured in from across the world, saying things such as “this needs to stop”, and “prayers go out to their families”. Bullying does need to stop, and girls, we need to be the ones to start making the change.
People want to see the world change, but no one wants to be the first to act. That is a flaw in human nature. We all wait until someone else makes the first move, but ladies, if no one is making the first move, we should. Let’s be the change that starts something. That starts a revolution….okay maybe not a ‘revolution’, but a change that stops things like bullying.
Mike Zolovich knows exactly where these boys are coming from. Coming out at the age of fourteen, he has experienced both verbal and physical bullying throughout elementary school right through until the middle of his high school experience. Jamey Rodemeyer’s suicide really hit Mike hard, and it prompted him to make his own “It Get’s Better” video, watch it here.
Liz Moore experienced bullying for her red hair color and glasses. Her worst experiences can be traced to the start of high school. Alan Shalkey is of mixed race, his mother is Korean and his father is white. Alan experienced the peak of his bullying in junior high school just because he was Asian.
I sat down with this incredible group of people and asked them to tell me about their experiences; what they’ve learned and how they hope to help the younger children experiencing the same thing.
1) Hercampus: I want to start by asking you each how you were bullied? Physically or verbally? Both?
Mike: I was bullied the most because I hung out with girls, people would even call me a girl sometimes. Never the “F” word, but still. People did call me gay in elementary school and believe it or not that hurt me for the rest of my life. Quarters were thrown at my head and I was pushed into lockers in middle school.
Liz: People would call me a ‘dyke’. And as I moved into high school, freshman and sophomore year people called me Chuckie and had cheeseburgers or pizza thrown at me. I considered transferring for a while.
Alan: It was mostly verbal harassment, people saying this and that was hurtful.
2) HC: How did the bullying affect you then? And how has it shaped you to be the person you are today.
Liz: I took it very personally then, and thought that there was something wrong with me. I didn’t know why I was being targeted. I went home crying a lot and wasn’t a fan of myself. I blamed myself for them making fun of me. Now I don’t let it get to me. I don’t depend on other people to make me happy. I rely on myself because I don’t trust other people.
Mike: Amen, sister. (Laughs) But no, it made me hate school. Hate it. Gradually it affected me less and less. Now I’m not as open as I used to be, and I’m still afraid to be who I am.
Alan: Bullying definitely made it harder for me to get closer to people and form relationships with them. Now, it’s easier to sympathize with other people’s problems and see where they are coming from, because I have been affected by bullying as well.
3) HC: Do you think a change is coming; A decrease in bullying and an increase in proactivity? Do you think it’s even possible?
Alan: I’d like to believe so, but the timeline it takes to change may be a little larger than most people realize.
Liz: It will take time. You see people grow up and how they change. Bullying, in my experience doesn’t happen as much in college because people grow out of it. It takes one person to change a group, once you have one person in a group advocating change, more people will join. People love jumping on the bandwagon.
Mike: It can change, once people are aware of their actions and what they do to others. It will take a long time; it takes years for human nature to be changed. I may not see it in my lifetime, but I know it will happen. It has to.
4) HC: Final question, if you can say one thing to young kids who are being bullied, what would it be?
Liz: You are beautiful and you are special, but you just can’t see that right now. You will. You will grow up and see that they are all just assholes, and probably far more self conscious about themselves than you are right now.
Alan: You have got to learn to not care and that there are more important things than people who degrade you.
Mike: It get’s better, and don’t let it get to you. You are better than that.
Victims of bullying are all around us and are usually the people we would never expect, such as these three amazing and, upon first glance, confident, self assured young men and women. Bullying is a heinous thing. We are the generation of change. So girls, lets make a difference!
And for the younger girls and boys who are being bullied: you are not alone. If there is ever a problem, call the National Bullying Hotline:
(215) 400-SAFE. There are countless people who are willing to help.
Hercampus ladies, let’s not jump on the bandwagon: lets start it.
Picture: safenetwork.org