We short girls have been through it all–stumbling on our tiptoes to reach books on the top shelf, awkwardly dodging our heads from side to side in order to find the perfect window to see the board in class, and, sometimes, craning our necks above hundreds of taller people to see one of our favorite bands onstage at a concert.
Romy Madley Croft and Oliver Sim of The xx at Stage AE on September 21, 2013
Take last Saturday night: British indie-pop band The xx stopped at Pittsburgh’s own Stage AE to rock out for a few hours before they concluded a North American tour for their sophomore album Coexist. I jumped at the chance to score tickets–concerts are an awesome way to be around cool people, especially other Pitt students, without the contrived small talk and smelly basements of house parties. Plus, jamming to The xx’s “Crystalised” makes me feel significantly more hip than I actually am.
My thrill quickly faded when you, Tall Guy, decided to wedge yourself right in front of me, destroying my near flawless view from the tenth row. Unfortunately, this is an age-old tale: Tall Guy, sometimes you make the concert experience a bit of an enigma for all the “vertically challenged” concertgoers out there. It’s bound to happen when, at 5’10,” the average American male stands a full 6 inches over the 5’4” average American female. (Not to mention the fact that girls can be that tall, too. Hey, Uma Thurman.) Now, I don’t mean to be sizeist, but I offer you this–a universal tall-person guide, written by a short girl, to respectful concert etiquette that will make life a little bit easier for short girls everywhere:
1. Short girls totally understand that you can’t control your height. Chances are, we won’t ask you to move or crouch down just for our convenience. After all, general admission concerts like these are totally fair game–you have every right to stand in the second row if you got there first! Keep in mind, though, that it’s easier for you to choose a spot a few more inches to the side than for us to magically grow taller. Is it really necessary to stand right in front of someone who’s a foot shorter than you? Instead, try to find a spot in front of another tall person–problem solved.
2. Everyone can agree that one of the best parts of a concert is the wild, carefree dancing. Just remember that a) space is limited to begin with and b) your elbows are basically on the same level as our boobs. Need I say more?
3. As the crowd begins to shift while the concert progresses and you see a spot open up, go for it–but it doesn’t hurt to ask the people behind you, “Hey, can you still see?” If they say no, create a window so that they can peer over your shoulders instead of having them angrily glare at the back of your head.
Don’t get me wrong, Tall Guy–your ability to help us weave through crowds is a godsend, and I never lose sight of you despite a rowdy and bustling audience. All we ask is that you understand the plight of the Short Girl: to us, everyone is tall. Everyone is standing in our way. And sometimes, we just want to let loose at The xx concert without cramping our necks doing it.
Photo credit goes to the author.