Each year in early January, hoards of Pitt students head back to the steel city, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (and ten pounds heavier from winter break) to begin the spring semester.
“This semester,” they say, “I will be on top of my class work and nail that 4.0.”
“This semester,” they promise, “I will do the required readings and talk to that hottie in my bio lab.”
“This semester,” they declare, “will be the BEST SEMESTER EVER.”
I applaud your optimism, Panthers, but here are some undeniable truths about spring semester of which we are reminded all too soon.
The Weather
Expectation: “I can’t wait for the warmer weather in spring!”
Reality: “Spring has two meanings: Icy Tundra and less cold Icy Tundra.”
Classes
Expectation: “I am a seasoned student, and now I know how to manage my time!”
Reality: “Wait, that’s due TOMORROW? I thought the exam was next week!!”
Health
Expectation: “I can’t wait to explore Schenley Park!”
Reality: “Wait, you mean the ENTIRE series of Friends is on Netflix?”
Textbooks
Expectation: “I can definitely rent a used copy; that shouldn’t cost too much.”
Reality: “It costs HOW MUCH? LOL NOPE.”
Going Out
Expectation: “Bitch, I’m fabulous.”
Reality: “Has anyone seen my phone? Becca needs an Uber because she threw up on the bouncer.”
Friends
Expectation: “Besties for life!”
Reality: “Ride or die, bitches. Let’s do this thing.”
Happy spring semester, fellow Panthers. I hope it’s everything you expect and more!
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