Have you ever had a problem in your life that you just can’t solve? Sure you could call your mom, but maybe it’s something you can’t tell her. Or maybe you just don’t want to prove her right… again. Now you have a place to go to get advice from someone your own age that has more than likely been through exactly the kind of things you have!
My name is Bekah, and I started this section of Her Campus on September 29, 2014. I’m a Psychology major with a minor in Creative Writing, and I’m on the Pre-Med track. My favorite color is blue, The Lion King is like the bible to me, and I’m extremely sarcastic. I love helping people, which is probably why I want to be a child psychiatrist in the future! I’m so excited that I get to answer y’all’s questions and help y’all! Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, on to the questions of the week!
Q: I’m really close to my mom, so going away to college was hard. Any decision I made in high school, I would always take her opinion into account. Now that I’m in college, though, I want to make my own decisions. How do I let go of the clingy and nagging thoughts I have about making decisions now that I’m away from my mom?
-Mom Probs
A: Hey there, Mom Probs! It’s so great that you have such a good relationship with your mom! It’s always good to ask your mom for her opinion on a decision, but as you’ve learned by now, she isn’t always going to be in the next room, ready to help you with a decision. Try to tell yourself that you need to let go and make your own decisions. I know, that sounds so stupid, but it can work. You’re going to make mistakes with your decisions, but you’ll learn from it—man, will you learn from it! For example, I got totally lost in Shadyside at like 10 PM a few weeks ago because I decided to get on the first bus that got to the stop. Obviously this was not my best moment, but I learned that that particular bus wasn’t taking us to campus and how to find my way back fairly quickly. It’s going to take time to stop wanting to call your mom every time you need to make a decision; just stop yourself and ask why you are calling her. If you’re calling her to ask her how her day is, CALL HER!!! She’d love to hear from you! If you’re calling because you don’t know which shoes to wear with your new dress, STOP. Figure it out yourself. You can do it, and you’ll be so much stronger once you learn how to do it yourself.
Q: What do you do when you still haven’t found a group of friends yet?
A: The simplest response is join clubs and talk to everybody! That actually made me cringe to think about it, but that is the fastest way to make friends. I have never been an “active” friend maker. I like to sit in the corner and wait for people to approach me, which usually doesn’t work because I look like I want to punch everyone in the throat. On rare occasions, people do talk to me, and if I’m lucky, they stick around long enough for me to warm up to them. Then they can’t get me to leave, and we’ve become best friends. Try and meet people on your floor; join clubs that you have an interest in because then you have something in common with the people in the group! Maybe talk to at least one person in every class! It takes some people, like me, a while to make friends. Just remember it’s only been a month; you’ll find your place soon enough, and it will be amazing! I’m always open to making new friends, and if you ever need to talk about anything, you know my email!
Q: Help! My roommate is a homosexual. What do I do??
A: Well, if your roommate is a guy who likes guys or a girl who likes girls, it’s ok. It shouldn’t be a problem at all. Just because someone is gay doesn’t mean they’re going to lust after you or watch you change. They just like the same sex. Try and be open-minded about it. Put your religious views or personal views aside, and try to get to know them. You can always let your roommate know that you’ve never met someone who is gay or maybe you’ve just never had to live with one. This is a new experience for you, and you’re trying to open yourself up to new situations. It is college, and new situations are kind of a given. If it really bothers you so much, ask for a different roommate. Just try and be open-minded, and don’t be a jerk about it. Homosexuality is not a “weird” or a bad thing. It’s just something different than what you are used to.
I hope this advice helped! Keep asking questions, y’all!!
Xoxo-
Bekah
Have a question for Bekah? Email her anonymously at soyouhadtoask@gmail.com