After having a nice dinner at the Melting Pot with my boyfriend last Saturday, we decided to walk around, watch the fountains dance to Bette Midler’s “Wind Beneath My Wings,” and just enjoy being with each other. We decided to walk to the fence and watch the sun set behind the bridges while it changed from a cotton candy colored sky to a light gray color. As we did, we were standing on the platform behind the fence hugging and taking pictures. After no more than a minute of laughing and enjoying ourselves, this 50-year old woman sitting amongst her girlfriends on a Saturday night at Bar Louie screamed “EWW! GROSS!” Once my boyfriend and I heard this, we looked back at her shaking her head as if we were doing something wrong and instantly become confused and upset. While looking back, we also saw an older couple intertwined in each other also sitting at a table look at us and then give the lady the same confused look we had. Why did this woman feel a need to call us out? Did she think we were showing off, or was she just jealous because she was with her girlfriends and not with a significant other?
Since PDA (and love in general) has so many different meanings and interpretations, there’s no universal conduct for all couples, and we shouldn’t be restrained by rules of conduct! How a couple chooses to project themselves to the public is their own choice, and we have to put up with it whether we think it’s sweet or just downright sleazy.
Nevertheless, PDA has been proven to be good for many things, including your mental and physical health along with your love life.According to research in the Psychosomatic Medicine journal, affection can combat stress by reducing your cortisol levels, a hormone associated with heart disease. Also, according to couple’s counselor, David Kavanaugh, “the passion in most relationships lasts around three years, but affection can last a lifetime. It allows couples to show they still care for each other after the initial surge of lust has gone. PDAs are a signal that you value and respect your partner – two essential parts of a relationship”
For example, one of my favorite Hollywood couples, Giuliana and Bill Rancic, are so incredibly adorable together. You can see the passion and affection in all of their pictures together. From just looking at pictures of them, you wouldn’t know that Bill supported Giuliana through her recent battle with breast cancer and her double mastectomy, along with complications having children together. If that doesn’t say true love, then I don’t know what does. Obviously, you can see that they are together for better or worse.
As we all know, not all couples are as established and refined as Giuliana and Bill, but they didn’t become so comfortable with each other without talking about their wants and needs for affection. According to Kavanaugh, “There’s nothing wrong with sitting down and talking about what type of PDAs you agree on”. It is so crucial to open the lines of communication to your significant other because it is important to know each other expectations and the “no-go” zones.
In my opinion, little signs of PDA extend much further than what blatant groping or pawing ever will. A kiss on the cheek or forehead, hugging, holding hands, and putting your arms around each other speak volumes to the solidity of your relationship instead of making yourselves a show to the public. If you do these things with your significant other and a 50 year old woman amongst her girlfriends yells at you, then chalk it up to one explanation: jealousy. Yes, it doesn’t end in high school, college, or ever. If you love your partner for all of the right reasons, then you two deserve to show off how amazing you are in the classiest way possible!
Julia Roberts could not say it better, “I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn’t matter what you do, or who you are or where you live, there are no boundaries if two people are destined to be together.”