A Guy’s Body Count: How High Is Too High?

Calling all freshmen girls (and anyone else who’s been in our shoes)! Have you gone home for winter break to find that your near-and-dear guy friends have not only doubled, but tripled their body count since going to college?! And you’re sitting there thinking, “Wait, girls think that you’re hot? I remember when you peed your pants in the third grade!” Where did the little boys we’ve gone to school with since kindergarten (back in the day when light-up Sketchers made you a total badass) find girls to sleep with them? Confused, baffled, and a little overwhelmed, it seems that everywhere us girls turn we’re running into guys (the hot ones – and the not so hot ones) who are getting laid like it’s their job!


Now, I know some girls are into practicing this new wave of feminism where they express their sexual freedom (and more power to them!), but where does that leave us less “expressive” gals?! It seems like if we’re not getting down and dirty, we’re cast off as prude, weird, and no fun (so not true). I could write all day about how some guys assume that just because we sat four rows to the left of them once in class, we totally want them! But instead, let’s tell them what some of us really think! How do we feel about their body count? And how high is too high?

So listen up, guys! If you fall into one or more of the following categories, maybe it’s time you become more a little more selective with your pickings, zipper up those Levi’s you’ve had since the 9th grade, and start becoming a boy we actually want to take home to our mommas. 

1.      Your body count is your age: Yeah… we’re all at least 18 here at college, so if you’ve reached it, simmer down. I know that most freshmen boys get excited with the prospect of going out to a sticky-floored frat on the weekends to find a sweaty girl in a body con dress to take home…but maybe rethinking it would be in your best interest. Just remember – if you’ve slept with 18 girls, you’ve been exposed to approximately 262,143 people. So maybe next party, just stick to the bump and grind ON THE DANCE FLOOR.

2.      You’d be embarrassed to tell the girl you like: You can play the tough, bad boy act all you want, but someday there will come a girl you’re crazy about. If by the time you find her (whether it is tomorrow, or 10 years from now) you feel slightly ashamed of your high BC, it’s time to slow down and take a breather. I know, you probably couldn't care less, because right now you’re getting as many girls as Lil Wayne (yeah, right). Don’t forget though, you may come to regret it someday, and unlike Lil Wayne, you probably won’t have millions to keep that special lady coming around.

3.      You’ve experienced an STD…more than once: No judgment fellow guy friends, but if your doctor knows exactly what antibiotics to prescribe as soon as he or she sees you, then just wrap it! You have a serious problem on your hands. An STD can be pretty harmless if treated, and it can happen to anyone, but if you are continuously being infected, you’re going to mess up your health…have fun explaining those medical bills to your parents.

In all seriousness, I know that a college guy’s top priorities may always be partying, booze, girls, and having a kick ass time, and there’s nothing wrong with that! Not all guys have this lifestyle, and there are girls out there that are not bothered by a high number (remember there are those free spirited ladies!). But for some of us, it sucks to hear that a guy treats sex like it’s part of his weekend workout; it’d be sexier if we saw you at the gym in a cut off. Just make sure that you (guys and girls both) practice safe, consensual sex and that you THINK before you take on that Lil Wayne’s super sexual role in his song Motivation. Besides, I doubt you boys could get with Kelly Rowland anyway!

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