Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
placeholder article
placeholder article

Getting Out of the Friend Zone

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Pitt chapter.

     We all have that one guy friend who we can go to for anything. They know everything about us, we wouldn’t care if they saw us naked and they are always over just to hang out. And when I say hang out, that is what I actually mean. No one is hooking up, trying to hook up or even thinking about it. At least that’s what we think. Yet, the guy friend may have these intense feelings that they are not able to express in fear that we may completely disregard them. And this can go both ways. Even we could feel these sort of emotions towards our guy friends and not want to say anything about it to them. Nevertheless, one friend is usually stuck in this little thing I’d like to call the friend zone. It can be very frustrating being trapped in this friendship that one of you wants more out of but the other doesn’t have a clue they feel this way.

     So, what happens when you want more? I can tell you from first hand experience it is tough. I was on the side that wanted to keep the friendship the way it was. He was my best friend but being in this so called friend zone started to take a toll on him. Finding out all of this from him months later, I discovered that he couldn’t even stand to be around me or in the same room as me at a party and not get frustrated. He started distancing himself from me more and more and I didn’t understand why. The problem? We never communicated about it. The key thing here is communication and talking. Who knows, maybe through good persuasion on his part, something would have come of it. Being open and honest with anyone is always the best choice, but I get it, sometimes it’s awkward and weird to bring up. If you want more, maybe invite him or her over and hang out while sipping on some mixed drinks. Liquid courage isn’t always a bad thing, right?

     Another way to get out of the friend zone is flirt, show a little skin and be confident in yourself. Having confidence is one of the biggest turn-ons for guys, if you didn’t already know. Three words that we could all stand to live by are what Cosmopolitan says, “Fun, Fearless, Female.” After awhile this friend will get the hint, boys are stupid. They know when girls are trying and when they aren’t. So, next time you two are hanging watching television together, maybe rest your head on his shoulder. Or if you go to the mall, don’t wear sweatpants, look cute. And this may take awhile for him to notice, after all you have been best friends for quite some time. Usually once the guy starts to catch on it’s the right time to communicate what you want and how you feel. Don’t give him an ultimatum because that might scare him off completely and you may have lost your chance not only at becoming more with him but also a best friend as well.

     So, I get it. The friend zone sucks. It is also embarrassing if the guy doesn’t feel the same way. But again, confidence is key. If he doesn’t feel this way, accept the reality of the situation. There are plenty of other guys out there and maybe the friend zone is where you two are meant to stay. But try these different ways to go about getting out of it and see what happens. What do you have to lose? Be that fun, fearless female Cosmo encourages you to be. Put on some makeup and talk! You might be surprised with what you find.
 
Photo cred:
http://goo.gl/tnuLw
http://goo.gl/DQ4iv

Claire is a senior at the University of Pittsburgh, double majoring in Nonfiction English Writing and Communication Rhetoric. She is one of two Campus Correspondents for HC Pitt and has held internships at Redbook Magazine and Verve Social Magazine. Claire is from Berkeley Heights, New Jersey, not too far from New York City. Her interests include fashion, writing, traveling (she spent a semester abroad in Australia!), and spending time with friends and family. Claire aspires to obtain a career working for a fashion magazine in New York City after she graduates.