1. Denial
Denial is the first stage of trying to study. This is when you tell yourself that you really don’t need to study. You already know this stuff, so there is no point in studying when you could be doing anything else! You eventually decide to at least try to study, even though you REALLY don’t need to. Then you end up doing everything EXCEPT studying.
2. Anger
You’ve been trying to study for what seems like hours (five minutes is close to an hour if you count backwards, right??), but you just can’t pay attention! Hot, angry tears run down your cheeks. Who even needs this anyway?! It’s stupid, and you’ll most likely never need to know the different cell structures and functions. (Throws book at wall while making a noise similar to when Regina George found out the Cady gave her food that made her gain 20 pounds.)
3. Bargaining
This is where you have your “come to Jesus” moment. Literally. You’ll do anything, ANYTHING, as long as you pass this test. You’ll go to church every week, feed the homeless, eat your Brussel sprouts, ANYTHING. If you’re feeling really desperate, you might even slip your Professor a $20. (Not Recommended.)
4. Depression
You’ve completely given up by now. The shuddering pile of blankets in the middle of the lounge is your stupid, worthless self. You’ve pretty much cried yourself out. The endless possibilities of your life keep flashing through your mind. Since you didn’t study, you’re going to fail the test, which will lead to you failing the course, and then your GPA will plummet, then you’ll get on academic probation, then you’ll get kicked out, then no college will ever accept you so you won’t be able to get a decent job, then you’ll be forced to live on your mom’s couch, and no guy will even think about approaching you, so you’ll be alone forever and you can’t even have cats because 1) you have no money for them and 2) you are severely allergic to them. Then your mom kicks you out and you have to live under a bridge and then you die all because you couldn’t study.
5. Acceptance
Well if you’re going to fail, you’re going to fail with a bang! You’re going to go in there and fail that test so hard, it won’t know what hit it! You don’t care that you’ll die under a bridge alone! There have to be others who will do just as bad or worse on the test; you can all die under a bridge together!