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Falling Out of Touch With High School Friends

By: Emily Erikson

High school to college is a huge transition that will most likely result in changes in your personal life. This is not a bad thing; it is a change you should welcome. Our friends are a source of support, humor and comfort. As we grow up, the things we like and what makes us happy will change. You may find that the people you used to spend time with don’t make you feel as good as they used to. Too many people waste time holding onto friends who no longer fit into their life. Past memories are not a reason to hold on to someone, it is the excitement of creating new ones.

Over the years, my parents have put a lot of pressure on me to reach out to people I was no longer friends with. They made me feel as if I was hurting someone by not reaching out even if we no longer had anything in common. If your family or friends are doing something similar, make it clear that you have grown up a lot and no longer mesh well with that person. Changes in your social circle are a sign of personal growth and self-realization, don’t put yourself down for cutting ties with someone.

High school is a very weird place socially. Everyone is divided into groups based on sports, music, or physical appearance. In college, this structure seems to fall away quite a bit. With so many people and ways to get involved, it takes a lot of time to find a good group of friends. But don’t let this influence you to stay connected to people from home that you do not like. It is better to fly solo than to be tied to negative energy.

There are more people I have lost touch with from high school than those I still talk to. Personally, I love that. I had a lot of “kinda friends” during high school and it took me until senior year to really nail down my people. After graduation, I unfollowed basically my entire town on Instagram. Not because I hated them and wanted to forget everything, but I wanted to start college with a clean slate and not feel pressured to compete with the pictures old friends were posting.

Now when I come home for breaks, I can meet up with small groups for brunch or go to the movies without worrying about who I actually want to spend my time with. Never put yourself down for realizing that you need to cut ties with someone. College is a time where we are supposed to grow up. Part of growing up is realizing who your real friends are and strengthening your relationships with them.


Photo Credit: Author’s own

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