We all know (some of us more than others) that some guys can have jerk tendencies at times. But, did you ever wonder why there seems to be such a high frequency of the most common d-bag behaviors? Think about it, how many guys have you met that are only looking for a one night stand and how often has a guy that you thought was nice completely blown you off? The answers are probably more than you’d like to believe.
As a psychology major myself, relationships and why people act the way they do in regards to them are the matters that I’m most interested in. So, I made it my personal goal to find out as much as I could to possibly explain this mysterious and annoying occurrence I like to call, the “A**hole Phenomenon.” Finally, I struck intellectual gold when I was sitting in one of my psych classes last semester and my professor was lecturing about an idea called the “Evolutionary Theory.” Keep in mind that it is only a theory, not straight-up facts, but I definitely think it has some valid ground.
It no surprise that the male’s contribution to reproduction is minimal in comparison to the female’s. Women have to first get pregnant, and then carry the baby to term, and in the past they were responsible to put all their time and energy into caring for the infant until it reached adulthood. Men were only required to do one thing: provide their seed. Because of this big difference of responsibilities, certain personalities of people were favored in evolution. The aggressive, dominant males gained more sexual access to females while the nurturing and emotionally intelligent females successfully raised their children. Those children certainly had a combination of these traits, ultimately passing them on to their children who passed them on to their children and so on. These characteristics also led men to take greater sexual initiative and seek a wider range of partners in order to increase their chances of passing their genes on to the next generation.
However, women had to be smart in choosing a mate, careful to find a committed provider that was resourceful both in terms of nourishment and protection. After all, a woman can’t sufficiently hunt and sneak up on potential food when her baby starts crying just as she can’t quickly run away from a saber toothed tiger with a baby strapped to her back. This careful selection of mates ensured that future generations of females had higher levels of empathy and relational orientation. Alas, men strived to offer what women desired-courtship, and women strived to offer what men desired-physical signs of fertility such as youth and health.
Sound familiar? It’s safe to say that although in modern times we do not have to protect our families from vicious animal predators, some of these gender-favoring qualities are still alive and well. Women are often criticized for being too picky when choosing with whom to have a relationship. This critique is rarely heard about men since in prehistoric times. They simply didn’t have to be picky then so, that way of thinking remains the thinking of men today.
This theory could also explain the infamous double standard of sleeping around. When a guy has a lot of sexual partners it’s considered cool, but heaven forbid a girl has a lot of sexual partners, no, that’s just skanky. Because after all, guys are just trying to spread their seed, right?
Have you ever wondered why girls love to be courted by that charming guy who brings her flowers and holds doors open for her? Or how about why girls wear short dresses and heels in below freezing temperatures despite the impracticality? It’s all about attraction! Guys have to show girls that they are willing to go the extra mile to be committed and provide for their future families just as girls have to flaunt their best asset of beauty, also known as – you guessed it – fertility.
So ladies, next time you meet a jerk who’s just trying to get some or that certain guy you’ve been chatting up forgets to text you, don’t hate the player, hate the game, which in this case, is biology.