Picture this: You casually log on to Facebook and scroll through your newsfeed, silently judging the outfit some girl wore last weekend, cringing at the cheesy status your Aunt posted, when BAM! There it is. Like some awful land mine you stepped on unawares, your unprepared eyes force you to read that your ex is in a stupid new relationship. Or you see him grinding and/or making out and/or groping some girl at your favorite bar. Or he’s sharing inside jokes with that chick you can’t stand on Twitter.
It sucks. It sucks hard.
The natural first instincts upon seeing something so heart wrenching range from a blinding, murderous rage, to emptying four boxes of Kleenex and walking around for a week with red, puffy eyes. Now while both of those are totally and completely fine to feel for a second, minute, or hour, or day, neither will earn you social points.
Listen, I’m not telling you you’re not allowed to feel—Lord knows we have to get our break-up/OMGHE’SMOVINGONWITHOUTME fix of chocolate, Ben & Jerry’s, and a stream of never-ending rom-coms. What I’m saying is that when it comes to seeing your ex in public (or on the Internet), especially when he’s apparently moving on with someone else, freaking out on him or locking yourself in your room for a month isn’t going to help anyone, least of all yourself.
1.) If he’s clogging up your newsfeed—If the break-up was rough, seeing him post statuses about his day-to-day life probably isn’t going to go over too well for your psyche, and neither are the posts to and from other girls who he might be pursuing. Instead of having a panic attack or writing a nasty, unwarranted comment, there’s a handy little Facebook feature that allows you to unsubscribe from someone’s posts.
-If that still isn’t enough for you to resist temptation to creep on his page, think about de-friending him. Yes, it might be a little dramatic, but you can always send him a polite message letting him know you’re not doing it out of malice, but because it just hurts too much to see. Before you know it, you’ll be landmine free and back to gawking at photos of so-and-so’s ridiculous party the other night.
2.) If you see him face-to-face around campus—Nothing has the power to ruin your day faster than seeing your ex bopping around carefree while you’re still angry or wallowing, especially if he’s hand-in-hand with another lady, right? Wrong. Don’t let seeing him ruin anything. Smile, wave if it’s appropriate, and carry on with your day. You’re stronger and classier than a public meltdown, so hold your head high…and then go home and crank some Adele.
3.) If you see him when alcohol is involved—Obviously the addition of alcohol changes things. Emotions are running high, whether that’s sadness in seeing him because you miss him, anger from the break-up, or jealousy over him moving on (maybe a mixture of all three), and keeping them in check can be a tad difficult. If you know you’ll be seeing him at a party and you’re worried about how you might act, don’t hit the keg as hard as usual and keep your gal-pals close, so you have someone to turn to if you’re feeling upset.
-If he happens to be getting close to another girl, you have two options: leave, or don’t. Leave because you know you’ll have a better time somewhere else where you don’t have to see all that going on, or stay because you’re not going to let your ex ruin a perfectly good night out on the town.
4.) If your friends are trying to convince you that, “The fastest way to get over someone is to get under someone else”—you know yourself better than anyone. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, depending on how you are with emotional attachment. Don’t rush into things because you see him doing it; taking it slow might be your style, and that’s just fine. Even if he’s shacking up with someone, it’s okay to be alone for a while until you’re comfortable.
Image credit:
http://www.womansavers.com/ima…