Dear Dave and Andy,
So, there’s a guy in one of my classes that I’m really interested in getting to know, but I’m always too shy to say anything to him! Every semester, between my friends and I, there’s always that one guy that strikes our interests in our classes but none of us ever have the guts to actually pursue anything because frankly, we don’t know how to go about it. This time there’s a guy (let’s call him “El Chico”) in my Spanish class: he’s really smart and insanely nice, but l I still can’t bring myself to make the first move. I don’t want to finish this semester like the rest – by not saying anything at all! Any advice on how to go about this without coming off as desperate or crazy?
Thanks!
“Too Shy in Spanish”
Dear “Too Shy in Spanish,”
It is clear you have a predicament on your hands, but have no fear because we have put some thought into this and we think we can help you out. Before anything else, you need to be confident in yourself. Confidence is the key to a man’s heart; you must be sure of yourself for a guy to feel secure. So, now on to the nitty gritty… Seeing as “El Chico” is a spicy classmate with insightful contributions to the class, you can take a few different approaches to the ‘first move.’ Casual encounters tend to be the most comfortable and successful ways to start any interpersonal relationship; a simple greeting will do you just fine to start a conversation, from which things can expand further. We have thought of a few examples for you to try out, but keep in mind that these conversation starters should be genuine and thoughtful. A few possibilities you might try are “Hey (El Chico), you always have good input in class, have you been speaking Spanish for a long time?” or “Hey (El Chico), I’ve noticed you like (a sports team that he supports) is that where you are from?” or even something as basic as “Hey (El Chico), I always see you in class and never got the chance to introduce myself, my name is (Too Shy in Spanish)”. Any one of these should get a conversation flowing, or you could try something with your own twist to it, like a topic he brings up frequently or something the two of you have in common. If he is really a nice guy, a casual icebreaker can never be harmful.
Once the conversation gets started, try to keep it casual in the beginning and don’t sound like you’ve crept on his Facebook after every class instead of learning your pronouns and conjunctions. You will find that one topic will lead to the next, and as long as the connection is there, the conversation will flow poetically. Keeping the conversation alive with creative responses and more inquires is always helpful too. We are sure it will not be too hard once things get rolling, so remember to be confident, employ a casual icebreaker, don’t gawk at his cute smile, and let the conversation come naturally rather than forced. Keep a smile on your face and know that you got this one in the bag. Now, go talk to “El Chico” (You never know, he may be wondering the same thing about you).
Your hometown minds of reason,
Dave and Andy
“Be true to you.”
Photo Credit here.