I think about Chipotle as much as I think about sleep. In fact, Chipotle has become a necessity in my life. Some of my friends call me basic for loving such a popular fast food chain, and they argue that Chipotle is overpriced. Some people claim that Qdoba is better than Chipotle, but those delusional people are not my friends and are completely irrelevant; I, despite my friends’ arguments, will never let their opinions affect the relationship that Chipotle and I share. Chipotle is not simply a food; it is a lifestyle.
Once you stand outside in the freezing cold in a line 50 people deep for a burrito, you realize you have an obsession. I’m sure that I am not the only one who would do just about anything for some bangin’ guacamole. I know I am not the only one because every single time I go to Chipotle the line is absurdly long. Yet I will wait. If you are a true Chipotle devotee, you will wait too. So let me share with all of you the experience that every loyal customer goes through at the best place on earth, Chipotle.
The Chipotle Experience:
First you text your best friend: Wanna go to Chipotle? In just seconds they reply: Yeah! You couldn’t be happier.
You speed walk to Chipotle and see a few of your friends waiting for you outside. You pray that maybe today the line will not be too long. Who are you kidding? It’s 12:00 pm on a Saturday. This is Chipotle “rush hour.” Who cares; it’s worth it.
You’ve been standing in line for 5 minutes. One of your friends starts getting impatient. “Why don’t we just go to Qdoba guys! The line is shorter and guac is free!” You cannot believe those words just exited her mouth.
It’s now been 15 minutes, and you’ve moved about 10 inches. This line was more deceiving than you thought.
You look to your left at the happy people scooping their fresh guacamole onto their perfectly salted chips. You look to your right to see a bunch of college guys devouring their flawlessly wrapped steak burritos. Okay, this line is ridiculous. You are hungry.
You start to make your way further in line. You’re almost there. You try to see if the person working skimps people on meat. Should you get half chicken and half steak? Everybody knows that ½ + ½ = 1 ½ at Chipotle.
Your friend asks you what you’re going to get. You know that you will not make the decision until the very last minute.
She says she’s getting hard shell tacos…K.
You’ve made it. There’s only one person in front of you. You can already taste it.
You’re up. The worker tells you to wait one second. He has to do the call-ahead orders. Ugh. How dare he.
Okay. Now it’s your turn. You decide to go for the bowl. You ask for a lid so you can bring leftovers home, even though you know that you have never had leftovers. The worker does not skimp on the meat and follows your requests exactly. Everything is placed perfectly. You are too exited.
You could never turn down guacamole and will never understand the people who do. You resist the urge to just scream YES at the worker and actually let him finish the question: Do you know guac is extra?
You ask if you can get a little bit of lettuce on the top because then it’s healthy, right?
The worker puts a mound of lettuce onto your delectable creation. The person working the cash register rings you up. It’s cheaper than you anticipated. Oh…he didn’t see the guac. Woops.
You quickly find a table, grab a drink, and dig in.
Food has never been this good.
You think you’re in love.
You’re halfway done and feel like you are about to explode. Must. Keep. Eating.
You lay back in your chair. Your stomach has extended several inches since you’ve started eating. You realize that you just waited 45 minutes for food that you finished in 5 minutes…and it was completely worth it! You walk out sad that the experience is over, but you know that you will probably be back tomorrow.
Image credit: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19