Every new relationship goes through that honeymoon phase where everything is fun and happy and nothing could go wrong. Fast forward to a few months down the line and the real fun begins. The fun where you realize that relationships are more than just romantic dates and never ending cuddle sessions and that there’s actually real work involved. There’s disagreements and jealousy that, if not ironed out just right, will turn into full blown arguments. Sucks, doesn’t it? However, underneath all that hard work still lies those cute couple-y moments tons of girls have been longing for their whole lives. And the good news is, there are a few key ways to deal with the inevitable conflict that make those good times even more enjoyable. All it takes is a little peace of mind.
Girls have a tendency to not communicate when something is wrong. They expect their boyfriends to be mind readers and just know when and why they are upset. So, when your boyfriend asks you what’s wrong and you reply with “nothing,” he’ll do the most shocking thing ever and actually believe you. This only makes the problem worse since you are still upset about the initial conflict and are now also upset that your boyfriend doesn’t automatically know what’s going on. Then, all the negative thoughts in your head multiply until hitting a boiling point and you emotionally explode all over your poor, unsuspecting boyfriend. You probably think that since you can often tell when something is up with your guy, he should be able to do that too. But that is pretty far from the truth. Men’s and women’s brains are just wired differently. Women are more in tuned to people’s emotions and are more likely to notice when someone is upset. So ladies, unfortunately guys are actually not mind readers, and sometimes they need things spelled out for them as clearly as possible. The best thing to do is just calmly tell him what’s wrong in the first place, bonus points if you come to him before he even asks. That way everything is out in the open and conflicts don’t have to escalate.
Another major source of conflict in relationships is jealousy. Whether it’s coming from the guy or the girl, it never ends well. Unfortunately, there’s no quick fix for this issue. The best thing you can do is not let yourself give in to it. Next time you see your guy talking to another girl, resist that pressing urge to walk right over there and slap her or even just go over and make it clear who’s dating who. Instead, stop and think: “Do I trust him enough to not to run away with this girl and get married right now?” If the answer is yes, then he’s probably just engaged in a harmless, platonic conversation and you can let him have his space. If you’re iffy about it, still give him some space and ask him about it later when you’re alone (just make sure you actually do talk about it to avoid the above mentioned situation). If the answer is no, you should probably rethink your relationship in general and figure out if you’re right together. The exception to this rule is if you continually see him talking to the same girl and she’s obviously flirting with him. Then you can slap her. And by slap I mean confront either her or your guy or both. Just make sure it’s a private conversation between the two of you and don’t make it a personal attack (in other words, no name calling). If you truly trust your boyfriend, there’s no reason for jealousy whatsoever. There’s a reason why it’s one of the deadly sins.
These are just a few ways to improve your relationship. After you’ve mastered them, you and your guy should still continue to discuss both your feelings and figure out what works best for the two of you. Just remember, no relationship is perfect and they all have rough patches at times, so don’t get discouraged. So whether you’ve already found the love of your life or you’re still riding solo for now, you can keep these ideas in mind for that next potential conflict in a relationship. Communication and trust are an essential part of any partnership, especially a romantic one, and letting go of petty behaviors will make your life that much better.