Dear college,
I’m over halfway done with you. You’ve taught me a lot academically, but more importantly, about myself. If I could write a letter to my freshman year self, there’s so much I’d want to say. There are so many expectations surrounding the college experience, and with those expectations can come a lot of disappointment. Going into freshman year, I knew that college wasn’t going to be like the movies. Even with this reality check, there were still a lot of assumptions that I held onto. I figured I’d meet my best friends, go out every night I could, and attend every college event possible. What I’ve since discovered is almost the exact opposite. As a freshman, I forced myself to do everything and never felt the sense of accomplishment that I figured would come with it.
My key takeaways from that time:
- Making close friends is going to take a lot longer than a month
- You don’t need to go to every party (most of the time it just consists of you sweating in a random basement anyways)
- Not enjoying the Thursday-Saturday night party life is more normal than you think
For every group of students you see going out on a Friday night, there’s another choosing to stay in. I would never judge someone for choosing to enjoy their night in instead of going out. Yet, I always felt like somehow I had failed at college if I didn’t want to trek through South Oakland with a pack of girls shivering from a lack of jackets. While I know this internalized feeling of failure is my own issue, I know I’m not alone. The past two and half years have allowed me to gain a lot of perspective and helped me let go of a lot of my assumptions. While I love the friends I’ve made, my best friends are still the two girls I’ve known my entire life (who sadly go to Temple 😪). One of my favorite ways to spend my time is by myself; just because my friends have large social batteries doesn’t mean I need to drain mine and be with them every single day. The biggest thing I’d tell my freshman self (and anyone for that matter) is to stop comparing your experiences to others. Someone might post on Instagram that they’re going out every weekend, but that doesn’t mean they’re happy. I wish I had realized sooner that everything I’m doing is more than enough.
Sincerely,
Grace