1. The Pedestrian with Nowhere to be
This person seemingly has all the time in the world, and, of course, they are on the sidewalk directly in front of you. They may even be traveling with an equally slow friend, or maybe even a group of friends. Regardless of how many there are, they will always take up just enough of the sidewalk to make passing them really, really awkward. After several unsuccessful attempts to get around this slow moving roadblock, you inevitably give up and decide the other side of the street is a nicer place to walk anyway.
2. The Late Pedestrian
We’ve all been here before: hitting snooze ten too many times before remembering that quiz we’re supposed to take in seven minutes. Sporting a mismatched ensemble of sweatpants and whatever shirt was on the floor, this pedestrian can be seen speed-walking over curbs and around cars just to make it to their 11AM recitation. You go, bold pedestrian, you go!
3. The Pedestrian who is REALLY Late
Like I just said, all of us have been late one time or another. Most of us simply pick up the pace and get to class as soon as we can. This pedestrian takes that to an entirely different level. They can generally be seen ungracefully sprinting through the crowded sidewalks of Oakland in a pair of New Balances, sporting an oversized backpack and an unmatched vigor for learning. To them, even one minute of Stats 1000 missed is one minute too many.
4. The Eager Beaver
When reaching a crosswalk, we all look across the street to see how many seconds we have left until the light turns red. Every once in a while, we run into someone who is just too eager to wait for that number to reach zero. Traffic be damned, this person is going to be halfway across the intersection before anyone has even had time to consider whether the light has changed yet. We can all only strive to be this cool someday.
5. The Out of Place Family
Oakland is not a place for small children. There is really no reason to bring kids here except maybe to see a Pitt basketball game. Yet, I have seen on numerous occasions a family with young children parading through the streets of Oakland. As they walk past homeless people and drunken college students I’m sure the father reminisces about how great Pitt was back in the day and how much has changed. “Look kids… a Rite-Aid next to a Rite-Aid.” Worst vacation ever, dad.
6. The Person You Know but Don’t Know How You Know Them
Was it that kid who sat next to you in your freshman year Introduction to Performance Class? Or maybe the guy you met at that frat party the other weekend of whom your memory is still a little fuzzy? Either way, you see this person walking towards you from across the street and make eye contact. After that, hopefully you just give each other a friendly nod and continue along your respective ways. Maybe you both look down and pretend that eye contact wasn’t made, that’s cool too. Whatever happens, just pray they don’t pull out an ear bud and shout your name, only for you to stammer unconvincingly, “Hey… uhh… what’s up?” Smooth, you definitely fooled them.