I often catch myself wondering, “What the hell was I thinking?” I know I’m not the only one who sometimes wishes she could be a teenager again with no real responsibility. When you’re 18 years old, you have a lot to look forward to in life: college, graduating, a career. There are many goals to accomplish and plans to dream about. Being 18 is the best age to start getting excited about the future, but sometimes inexperience can lead to disappointment when everything doesn’t go as perfectly as you had hoped. Since turning 18 years ago, I have learned some important lessons that would have been of much benefit to me back then. If I could go back in time, these are the 18 pieces of advice I would tell my younger self.
1. Don’t try to grow up so fast.
Before you go to college, try to enjoy the little time you have left of being a kid. Because once you get there, you will suddenly be bombarded with responsibilities that you may have thought you wanted, but in reality, no amount of preparing would have made you ready for. Don’t plan out every little step of your life just yet. And don’t compare yourself to what everyone around you is doing. There’s lots of time for those things later on.
2. Not everyone will like you, but it doesn’t really matter.
If there’s one lesson to be learned throughout elementary, middle, and high school that you should definitely take with you not only for college, but for the rest of your life, it’s that not everyone is going to be your biggest fan. The hardest part of coming to know this fact is accepting it. It’s totally ok that you’re not best friends with everyone who walks into your life. The only thing that matters is that the people who are truly important to you stick around.
3. Call your grandparents more often, if you’re lucky enough to have them.
Getting older, I’ve learned the hard way that it’s really important to call your grandparents at least once or twice a week when you can. I love spending time with my grandparents when I have the chance (which isn’t often considering we live over 1,200 miles apart). I have realized it’s easy with the advent of modern technology to keep up with each other’s lives through a simple phone call. It doesn’t take much to make your grandparents happy, and I guarantee they would love hearing from you if only for five minutes of their day. So, I encourage you to take a few moments to remove yourself from social media and pick up the phone to make them smile.
4. Every choice you make has a consequence.
I know this one may sound cliché, but it’s true. Every choice and decision you make has a long-lasting impact on your life. I’m not talking about whether you chose to have eggs or a bagel for breakfast this morning, or if you bought the white shirt instead of the black one. Your parents aren’t going to make your decisions for you forever. They may help when you need it, but ultimately, most things are up to you from now on. Since we can’t undo our past choices, all we can do is learn from them. Every day brings with it new opportunities for more choices, which will continue to shape our lives.
5. It’s ok to cut ties with friends who are toxic.
Sometimes, some friendships don’t end up working out for whatever reason. If there was ever a time I wish I knew that this was perfectly ok, it would have been when I was 18 years old, just on the brink of entering college. This can be frustrating and hard to understand for most of us. However, it’s important to know that old friendships were not a waste of time. We can all learn something from the relationships we’ve had, whether good or bad. Removing someone from your life that doesn’t deserve to be in it is never easy, but it needs to be done if you don’t want to keep getting dragged down. Plus, it makes room for furthering the friendships that hold more value in your life.
6. Be realistic.
It’s definitely important to set goals for yourself moving forward, but it’s also important to realize which ones are realistic to achieve and which ones might be a little out of reach right now. For example, if you have a dream school that you would do anything to get into, then work your heart to its core to make it happen. Know what is and what isn’t realistic about your future.
7. Take care of your body.
I never knew taking care of my health would be so difficult after I moved away from home. Sure, I heard stories about the freshman 15, but I never thought I would fall victim to it. I was wrong. Being aware of how much college can potentially affect your body and health negatively will push you to think twice about drinking that extra can of beer.
8. Forgive people.
This one is self-explanatory. Everyone makes mistakes. People say things they don’t really mean because they speak when they are too full of emotions, and people do stupid things that they wish they could take back. We’re at the point where we are mature enough to realize this and give people second chances when they deserve them.
9. Where you stand in high school is completely irrelevant to your life.
Although popularity and fitting in with a certain group of people may have felt like it occupied your life more than anything back then, nothing is more relieving then when you get to college and figure out that that didn’t really matter at all. As long as you made the most of high school, then who cares what kind of name you made for yourself among your peers? And it’s the same situation here. In ten years, no one is going to remember if you went to lacrosse team parties every weekend or if you sat in the library on Friday nights, so just do whatever makes you happy.
10. Live in the now.
One thing I didn’t know at this age was how much I was going to miss high school. I ended up moving away from my hometown to a completely different state, and I find myself thinking about those four years more than I expected to. I’m one of the lucky few who really enjoyed high school. I made my best friends there and had an unbelievably fun senior year. I just wish I took the time to slow it all down so I could really appreciate it as much as it deserved. So, if you feel like these four years of college are the best years of your life, live in each moment because time is only moving forward and very quickly for that matter.
11. If something is meant to be in your life, it will be.
Whether this be friends, boyfriends, jobs…just let life work these things out on its own. There’s no reason to stress because these types of issues usually resolve themselves. And if they don’t, then I personally take it to mean that the person, boy, or job was just not meant to stay in my life any longer.
12. Don’t try to be someone else.
You know that saying, “Be yourself because everyone else is already taken”? Well, it’s true, as cheesy as it may sound. In college there’s a lot of pressure, especially on social media platforms, to aspire to be like people we are not. Instagram has always cast a certain spotlight on models and celebrities that makes it seem like their lifestyles are so easy. The truth is, no one has a perfect life, so embrace the one you have and embrace who you are because there’s no one out there who’s a better fit for you, then you.
13. Save some money.
I am the absolute worst when it comes to saving money. Just ask my mom. My debit card runs out of money every other day, and I have to keep a $150-per-month limit on my credit card, or who knows what would happen? The possibilities are endless. I’m a shopaholic who needs serious help with her addiction. Even after three years of being a college student, I still, to this day, struggle with the concept of saving money. If I could go back in time, I would have definitely saved some birthday money each year to afford some of the things I could really use now, like those cute shoes I’ve wanted to buy!
14. Don’t care so much about what others think of you.
As hard as it is to admit, this one took me a while to learn. In high school, we care about what others think of us, as we are desperate to fit in with the cool crowd. But in college, this feeling slowly disappears. There’s no one here whom I’m trying to impress but myself. I am only in competition with myself, and let me tell you, it’s a huge breath of fresh air.
15. Don’t dye your hair blonde (or red).
Well, this was one of the worst mistakes of my young life. I think I actually would have enjoyed having blonde hair (blonde’s have more fun?) if I hadn’t dyed my hair dark red a few months prior. Because of this catastrophe, the stylist couldn’t completely get the red out of my hair, so I ended up having half red and half blonde hair, instead of a normal brown to blonde ombre ratio. After several months of waiting for the red to slowly fade back into my normal light brown hair, I decided to just stick with what I know best, which is dark brown. It’s fun to try different hairstyles every now and then, but you’re always going to like what you’re used to the most.
16. Really consider where you want to spend the next four years.
A lot of people get offended when I tell them college isn’t going to be the best four years of my life. Some people think I’m a commuter student because I go home almost every weekend. But I don’t hate Pittsburgh. I actually love it on a certain level, but to be honest, if I had the option to do it all again, I might have chosen differently. I really encourage you to think long and hard before you pick your home for the next four years, or in some cases, where you want to go to graduate school. I now know my true home is New York City, and that’s where I plan to continue on in life, confident that my best four years will take place very soon.
17. Don’t try to be pre-med; you’re a writer.
Yeah, so for some reason I thought it was an amazing idea to try to be a pre-med student. I have no idea why I allowed myself to do this considering I can’t solve a math problem for my life or wrap my creative mind around a science textbook. After failing a few classes and suffering because I didn’t understand anything I was studying, I decided to give up. I knew all along that it wasn’t for me, but thought I would give it a try anyway. I used to say I was glad I tried it because then I knew for sure that I wasn’t going down the right path, but now I think about all those missed writing classes I could have taken instead. I don’t regret testing out this field, but I definitely wouldn’t recommend it if your heart isn’t 100% in it.
18. Wear your retainer so you don’t need braces again.
And as for my latest and greatest mess up, I have to apologize to my teeth. And also to my parents for forcing them to spend another $5,000 after I already had braces once. If you happen to fall into this category and are considering your options, consider Invisalign. A few of my friends also have it, and I must say it is definitely the best invention I have come across so far. Invisalign has corrected both my bite and my gaps in such a short amount of time while keeping the “braces” part virtually invisible. I’m so happy I can finally say goodbye to my metal-wired retainer from the 1800’s. You guys know what I’m talking about.
Picture Source: 1