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What Extroverts need to understand about Introverts

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Pepperdine chapter.

If you’re an extrovert like me and have several friends who are introverts, there are some things we need to understand. It’s not that they’re being rude when they’d rather stay at home then attend a party you’ve invited them to, it’s just that they think differently than us. I am an extrovert and have been told several times that I have too much energy. I can’t help it, it’s my personality. However, I have come to realize there are several things we need to understand about our introverted friends.


Introverted does NOT mean shy or anti-social

As an extrovert, sometimes we think that someone who is an introvert is either shy or just anti-social, but that isn’t always the case. Perhaps our never ending social personality makes us believe that someone who doesn’t talk, doesn’t like being around people. And then we tend to wonder if that person is alright, which of course they are.

Small Talk

As an extrovert, you need to realize there’s a time to talk and there’s a time to speak to yourself. That’s an issue I’ve come to realize I have. I talk too much, and sometimes my friends just want silence to rest, which I totally understand and respect. Extroverts have a tendency to talk way too much, and the conversation never seems to end. We like talking! This is sometimes a problem when we have small talk with an introvert. We may feel like we hit a wall and the conversation comes in very short responses. Where extroverts tend to need conversation, introverts are okay with silence.


However, introverts dislike small talk. If you want to have a conversation with an introvert, you want to have deep meaningful talks, especially something that interest them. For introverts, small talk is sometimes a waste, it’s mostly for someone they just met or barely knows. Start having deeper conversations with your introverted friends. Skip the small talk and get to the real meaning of life or just simple really ask how they are doing.


Introverts thinking process is different from ours, they do well in problem solving and complex thinking. Whereas extroverts tend to process information through sensory information,coming from the external stimuli around us. Hence the realize why extroverts are energized by having a large number of people around them. Both extroverts and introverts are wired differently, we gain our energy in many different ways.

Introverts do socialize

Introverts socialize just like extroverts do, just in a different manner and not as consistent. As I mentioned people, introverts love deep conversations. They want to know what the person is really all about and how each person thinks. Introverts are very invested in the conversation and are not as easily distracted by other things around them. Introverts can socialize just as well as extroverts, just sometimes for a shorter amount of time.

Time alone

Time alone is used to recharge. It’s not that introverts do not want to socialize, it’s just that sometimes it’s too many people and by the end of the day they are tired and need to rest. What extroverts need to realize is that introverts just need time to recharge their energy and then they’ll be ready to go again.

Hola, mi llamo Marissa Hernandez. Hey, I'm Marissa Hernandez, and I am a senior studying Psychology at Pepperdine University. I am involved and an active member of Alpha Kappa Psi, Business Fraternity and I am currently working on campus through the theater department. I am very passionate about art and working with children. I hope to one day open my own center that is primarily focused on children and teens, through the involvement of art, sports, cooking, and other fun activities. I personally believe that community and communication with their peers who have similar interest, is the most effective way of therapy. Besides my personal interest in the future, in my free time I love to socialize with my friends, paint, eat food, and cook. I have a habit of having dinner parties every weekend about 10-15 of our closest friends, in which I cook large feast of Mexican food or other types of foods. I have an addiction to Sawtelle, in which you might catch my in the wee hours of the night getting Tatsu or wintermelon boba. I am pretty easy to find on campus, since I never go a day without wearing a single flower or a lot of flowers in my hair.