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There’s a saying out there that there are more than two people in a relationship, and while there is truth in the saying, it’s not as easy as it sounds. When your friend starts to date someone, their time is suddenly split, and most of the time you end up with the shorter stick. It’s a unique problem: you want to like your friend’s partner, and you want to be liked by them, but you also want to still be able to hang out with your friend without their significant other.
In my experience, the new member of your duo can be a nice addition that makes your friend happy but doesn’t kick you out, and it can be right at the other end of a spectrum where you say goodbye to your friend and glimpse them in passing. I have a go-to way of handling this that I’ve noticed has two outcomes. One, I mention to my friend that I’d really like to hang out with just them, and that will usually snap them out of it and make them realize they’ve been hyper-focusing on their partner and try to divide their time better.
Other times when I bring it up to a friend, I’ll be honest, it doesn’t end well. I’ve been called jealous, selfish, and not willing to try and understand. Usually, in the few incidences that has happened I just throw my hands up and acknowledge that no one but time can make them realize they’re cutting off their friends. But let’s say you’re lucky and situation one is your reality. Here are three ways that you can take advantage of their realization, and get your girl time.
1. Set Aside an Hour Every Week for FaceTime
Technology is a beautiful thing, and while it might not be as good as in person giggles and candy, FaceTime allows you to have a face to face conversation. What else is great about it? You can do it anywhere, at any time. So, let’s say your girl is still struggling to balance her schedule and physical separation from her partner. FaceTime can let you have a conversation with you in your bed and her a room away from her new bae while they’re making dinner. It’s not perfect, but it’s getting somewhere.
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2. Have a Girl’s Night/Day/Brunch Once a Month
There are 31, 30, 28, and sometimes 29 days in a month. I guarantee you that your friend can take one night, one day, one brunch to meet up. And if you make it a habit, there’s a good chance they won’t plan a romantic getaway at the same time. It won’t kill any spontaneity in their relationship, and it won’t kill your girl time.
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3. Suggest a Group Get Together
I know, you’re probably thinking, “How does this help me if there are more people around, as well as their partner?” Well see, that’s the trick. While their boo might be in the same room, if you have her and their friends around there’s a good chance the couple will be focused on more than just each other. And inviting their bae’s friends might even get you some brownie points.
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When it comes down to the line though, just talk to your friend. If you’re close enough to feel an impact at not having them around, they probably want to keep having you in their life.