20, in my opinion, is one of the scariest ages to turn, and I’ve been in denial that I’m turning 20 for a while now. It didn’t hit me until a few days before my birthday, and now my birthday is tomorrow and I’m in full panic mode. I remember when my biggest birthday crisis was turning 13 and no longer being allowed to order off the children’s menu at restaurants. Now, when someone asks my age, I’m no longer going to answer with a number that ends with “teen.” So, how did I cope with this? The only way I cope with anything: listening to music. I decided to make a playlist with songs that are about growing up and getting older, and here are some that I added:
- “Matilda” by Harry Styles
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“Matilda” is one of my favorite Harry Styles songs. I love it so much that I have a tattoo that will be on my body for the rest of my life. However, I didn’t add “Matilda” because it’s one of my favorite songs. I added it because of the lyric, “You can throw a party full of everyone you know / And not invite your family, ‘cause they never showed you love.” This lyric hit me the most, especially with my birthday celebrations coming up, because as a college student, I’m no longer with my family on my actual birthday. Instead, I’m with my new friends that have become family to me.
- “Slipping Through My Fingers” by Meryl Streep and Amanda Seyfried
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Yes, I know that the original artist who sang this song is ABBA, but there is something about this version that always gets me emotional. Maybe it has to do with the fact that Mamma Mia! is my mom’s and my favorite movie, or it’s a mother and daughter singing together, but “Slipping Through My Fingers” always gets the job done when I want to feel sad about growing up.
- “Never Grow Up” by Taylor Swift
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While on the topic of growing up, this one had to be added (even though every time I’ve listened to my playlist, I skip it). “Never Grow Up” is probably one of the most heart-wrenching songs Taylor Swift has ever written, and it is one I can only listen to in my darkest times, but it still had to be on my playlist. Let’s just say I’m glad Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) didn’t come out before my birthday.
- “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac
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“Landslide” is one of my favorite Fleetwood Mac songs and was a perfect addition to my playlist. There’s one line in particular that really sums up how I feel about growing up. “Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’ / ‘Cause I’ve built my life around you / But time makes you bolder / Even children get older / And I’m getting older too.” The line, “afraid of changin’,” was a huge reason I added this song to my playlist because change terrifies me, and I think that’s part of the reason I don’t like growing up.
- “Getting Older” by Billie Eilish
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This one is another one of my favorite songs, and just by the title alone, you can see why it was a great fit in my “Turning 20” playlist. There are a bunch of lyrics that really resonate with me. Eilish didn’t sugarcoat growing up because, honestly, it sucks! But it’s a part of life, and I think Eilish did a great job describing getting older in her song.
These are just five out of the 26 songs I added to my playlist about growing up and how it sucks. Turning 19 was weird for me because it was my first birthday without my family, but turning 20 feels even weirder because even though I’ve been an adult for two years now, I was still a teenager. Now, I’m no longer going to be in my teens, and that’s scary. So, if anyone is in the same boat, I hope this playlist showcases how you’re feeling just like it did for me.
Check out my playlist here.