It’s that time of the year again. College students all throughout the U.S. are making the great migration back to their respective hometowns for Thanksgiving break. We’re talkin’ cornbread, stuffing, mac and cheese, and of course, the re-opening of emotional wounds.
Oh, what? C’mon girl, you know what I’m talking about. That “Friendsgiving” your quirky pals from high school decided to host, for old times sake! The one that you volunteered to bring a box of Entenmann’s “pop-ems” to…The one that your EX will be at! Oh yes, your extremely trigger-some EX! Did you miss him? Block him? It doesn’t matter! Because either way, he’s gonna be there! Yup! They invited him! You broke a sweat when you saw that he was in fact included in the group chat. You suddenly do not want turkey anymore. You wonder why you had to stay in touch with this group of friends anyway. “Chill out,” you tell yourself. “Let bygones be bygones…”
You’re grateful for him in some way, yes? It’s Thanksgiving after all, right? It’s time to appreciate and reflect. Yeah. Totally. You know what, Trevor, IM THANKFUL FOR YOU FUCKING ME OVER! ALEXA, PLAY THANK U, NEXT!
Keep it together. It’s okay. This is the one time of the year you have to confront the fact that he is, in fact, still a living person. Unless your inconsiderate little friends host a cookie exchange in a month. Ugh. You can do this—and if you cant, you don’t have to go! Why does this cranberry sauce have an after-taste of knowing you’ve been blocked on all social media platforms? Hmmm. Of course, you got a pimple before this. Oh, he brought a tofurkey? That’s funny. Considering the way he mocked you when you went vegan. Ha. Breathe girl. This is character building, right? Happy Thanksgiving!!!