Throughout high school, I always had a small group of friends I could rely on. I shared some of my worst fears, deepest secrets, and happiest memories with five close friends since Freshmen year. When I entered college, everyone seemed ready and willing to form relationships and create bonds with one another. At some point, it seemed as if every single person on campus found their “group”. To me, finding a “friend group” was difficult and uncomfortable (I’m naturally a very shy person), so I stopped trying to look and decided to isolate myself to focus on my education. Looking back, I think isolating myself was one of the worst decisions I made during my first year in college. Although my grades were outstanding, isolating myself took a toll on my emotional health; there were several moments where I thought about transferring to a different university, or flying back home to take a gap year. After my first semester, I forced myself to talk to others and break out of my shell.
Now, I have a wonderful group of friends I’ve shared fun, crazy memories with. We’ve struggled through numerous hell weeks, survived finals and midterms, and stayed up late sharing stories or spilling tea. Admittedly, we’ve had our fair share of disagreements and quarrels, but we’ve always managed to overcome those challenges. I’m grateful for the people I’ve met, and I’m glad that I’m learning more about them everyday.
If you are a first-year trying to “find a friend group” or experiencing an identity crisis, I hope you know that you are not alone. Many students, both first-years and sophomores, are/were in your shoes at some point. Understanding your place at Oxford and putting yourself out there takes time and patience. Whenever you’re ready, things will fall into place.