Have you ever been in a situation where you start to doubt yourself and then overthink everything? I have. All the time. Why is that, you ask? The root cause to these kinds of situations, at least in my case, is insecurities. I’ve always been insecure about myself and lacked confidence and its something that has been a hindrance in many situations. In conversation, I may be more reserved because I don’t want to say something stupid or make a fool of myself, and I’m always doubting myself.
When it comes to guys, one of the first thoughts that would come to my mind is “What’s wrong with me?” Am I not pretty enough? Not funny enough? Did I say something stupid? I then proceed to analyze everything I’ve said. These questions don’t always stay locked up in my head and have managed to spill over into conversation with my friends. These conversations are where I have received some of the best advice in regards to situations like these. Here are some things to always keep in mind when you’re starting to doubt yourself.
- There Is Nothing Wrong with You
We’ve all been there, whether it be with a guy your into or a friend, rejection causes us to doubt ourselves. But as I said above, that is not the case. Some people just are not meant to be together and it doesn’t always have to be something that you did wrong or something that is wrong with you. If they don’t want to be with you exactly as you are, then it just wasn’t meant to be and they are not worth your time. Those who stick around will realize how truly lucky they are to have you in their lives and you are just going to have to wait for them.
- Not Everyone is Going to Like You
This is just a simple fact. It’s hard to find one person that absolutely everyone adores. People will be jealous, annoyed, or intimidated. But don’t get bent out of shape over that one person who never seems to return your friendly gestures when you see them. They’ll have to realize that they’re the ones missing out on how awesome you are, not the other way around.
- Don’t Overthink
Someone didn’t text you back or didn’t acknowledge you when you passed them on the quad? Don’t jump to conclusions, they more than likely aren’t avoiding you, they were probably just distracted or are a little too busy to reply to your message after one minute. I will admit that I am guilty of overthinking EVERYTHING. Should I send this message? Did that last text sound too desperate? He probably thinks I’m crazy and am trying too hard. UGGHHH. You are not alone in this, or maybe I am, but either way, overthinking every little thing will get you nowhere. It will only cause you to stress out unnecessarily. You most likely are assuming the worst case scenario and that is never a good idea. If you just let things happen, then I promise you will be a lot happier and things will work out the way they’re meant to be.
- Fake it till You Make It
I’ll admit, I am not the most confident person out there, I doubt myself more often than I have faith in myself. Coming across as confident though is the best thing you can do for yourself because people tend to gravitate towards those who are independent and self assured. Whether you truly feel like you’re the coolest person in the room or the most qualified for an interview, no one else needs to know that inside your totally doubting yourself. FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. The more confident you pretend to be, the more natural that feeling will be until one day, you actually own that confidence!
- Do Not Try to Understand What Others Are Thinking—You Will Drive Yourself Insane
No one is telepathic, we can’t read someone’s mind, so don’t stress yourself out trying to! If you are worried what other people are thinking about you, it will come across that way. Once again, this is where confidence is key. Just pretend that you don’t care what others think and continue doing you. You’re still going to be you, regardless of their opinions anyways!
- Don’t Try to Compare Yourself to Others
This is the biggest NO-NO out there! No two people are the same, and why would anyone want to be just like someone else? This is going to sound very cliché, but it’s the differences that make us unique! So that one girl may always have boys falling all over her, or another girl may get the highest grades in the class, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t going be just as happy and successful as them one day! We all have something special about us and it isn’t going to be exactly the same as someone else, so you’re just going to have to figure out what it is that makes you stand out and own it.
- Let Go
One thing that I have also realized is that I need to realize when to let go. If I got a bad test grade, I need to let that one go and do better on the next one. A boy I had a crush on doesn’t like me, let him go and find someone better. There are things in your life that are going to cause you unnecessary stress if you fixate on them, especially when they are things that you can’t change. You are going to feel so much better if you focus on the present (which you have control over) rather than the past!