It is rare to find people who we can trust and care about, and are able to reciprocate our emotions. However, once we do find them, it is important to do whatever we can to maintain and strengthen those relationships. The people and friends we decide to keep in our lives and invest our energy and emotions in are valuable to us due to the fact that they make an impact in our lives every day. They provide something to us that others don’t, which is this level of trust and care. No matter what conflict may arise, it is hard to ever walk away from someone that shows these two qualities. Whether someone is the CEO of a big company and flaunts intelligence left and right, is the richest man alive, or the most beautiful person on Earth, all of this becomes obsolete when it comes to personal relationships. While some may strive to make connections with only the “well-connected,” this cannot sustain one’s innate hunger to be cared for. It is not one’s accomplishments that makes someone stand out. It is how they make us feel. Listed below are the qualities that every person should exhibit if they want to make an impact in someone’s life.
1. Be honest
Everybody lies. The irony is that we often lie to protect the ones we care about. However, if we want to form a close connection with someone, we should cut this bad habit. If one is honest with others, one is signaling that they trust the other party, which is the most powerful feeling because the feeling of impacting someone’s life is even better than someone impacting yours. With honesty, not only will one know doubtlessly that the other party likes one for who they are, but only from investing trust in others will others trust one and open up to one about how they feel, which is what makes one valuable. While being honest may come at the risk of disagreement and conflict, if one is truly valuable and the disagreement is not harmful, toxic, or rooted in complex issues to a party, one will be understanding and be willing to push forward and use whatever disagreement may arise as fuel to strengthen the relationship. If not, then there is no loss, because the truth always comes out and it is easier on the heart to be hurt before getting to know someone then after getting to know someone and feeling that a connection was formed on lies. Nevertheless, while a disagreement may seemingly “kill” a relationship, the bond formed from the other party investing the trust that comes from honesty and opening up is something that is unbreakable, so though it may seem like one’s efforts were meaningless and all they achieved was vulnerability, it is in fact the opposite. Often mistaken for confidence, honesty is an attractive quality that always seems to draw people in – and it all boils down to trust.
2. Invest time
One can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. It is the people that invest time in us that quenches this empty feeling. One can invest time in several ways. This can be as simple as inviting one to get coffee every weekend or texting someone every day. However, people want to feel like they matter and that they are a priority, so the best investment of time can be spent in something that shows the other party that shows support. This can range from attending one’s performance or basketball game, treating one to a meal after they got into a program they wanted, reading someone’s article, throwing a party for someone’s birthday, being a shoulder to cry on, and helping one with tasks when one is feeling unwell.
3. Be kind
Kindness is always the number-one showstopper. It’s funny how despite it being such an easy thing to show, it always catches people by surprise. While there are so much kindness and love out there in a world, people feel deprived of it. To be nice means to be pleasant and is more of a way of showing politeness. To be kind, however, that is noble. Kindness requires generosity and considerateness. From helping one edit one’s essay, to giving one directions when one is lost, to expressing willingness to drive to someone’s location instead of that person driving to yours, kindness is something that people do not come across every day, so when they see it, an instant attachment is formed.
4. Be communicative
People express their feelings in different ways. Expression does not always have to be vocal. A simple facial expression or a shift in body language will always speak louder than words. Eyes are the gateway to the soul. Words unmatched with expressions are meaningless and generate a sense of disgust to the receiving party. Nevertheless, words do matter. Though we may rely on our instincts, we are always afraid of trusting our instincts. Actions speak louder than words, but words are pretty loud. We need words of encouragement in order to trust ourselves, and once we trust ourselves and our judgement, we are able to trust the other party. Thus, being vocal and truthful about the words one communicates can make a tremendous impact on someone’s life. A simple “I’m here for you” or “You’re important to me” or “I’m glad we’re friends” can go a long way.
5. Be a good listener
Just as important as being a good communicator is being a good listener. As discussed, people want to feel like they matter and are a priority, that they are more than just 1 of 7 billion. People are lonely and feel helpless on their own. The most beautiful thing someone can see is someone that has the willingness to get to know more about oneself, whether it’s figuring out what one’s dreams and aspirations are, what one likes to do, what one values, to what one’s problems and current state of feelings are. It touches one’s soul in a unique way, and those that are willing to listen in both times of prosperity and trouble are the people one will treasure as most valuable.
6. Be understanding
We all make selfish decisions at times. We often do it as a defense mechanism because sometimes, we feel that it is better to protect ourselves at the expense of others. However, when one puts someone before oneself, this sacrifice never goes unnoticed. That’s one of the most rare things someone can see. The ability to understand one’s perspective and feelings and be willing to compromise for the sake of preserving a relationship shows the receiving party that one cares and that they matter. From simple acts such as refraining from wearing the same dress as your friend at an event even though it’s your favorite, to giving one more time to fulfill certain promises because one is feeling unwell, the desire to understand others goes a long way.
7. Be yourself (be trusting)
It’s important to remember that no matter how much one wants to be on one’s best behavior in front of someone or how one may want to impress someone, the most impressive quality one can see is that someone trusts one. Thus, letting one’s guards down and being able to freely express oneself is the first step into forming a close connection. No one’s perfect. That’s okay. Nevertheless, we take the people that we meet as we find them and though they may not be perfect, they mean something to us, which is as close to perfection as perfection can be. Of course, it’s important not to trust everyone that one meets. However, if one has proven time and time again that one cares about you, are understanding, and good listener, one shouldn’t be afraid to express one’s vulnerabilities in a time of need. This is similar to being honest, except that it requires more courage. It requires that one shares one’s vulnerabilities and being able to freely express oneself like one is at home. The key is, keeping up the image of being a rich, intelligent CEO will never be as impressive as expressing to someone that perhaps one is self-conscious sometimes, or the ability to make bold jokes or statements and not fear it because of the trust one has.