Non-Confrontational People vs. Apologies

For those of us who are bad at confrontation, we all know that there are those moments when something really stupid that we repressed for ages suddenly bubbles up, causing us to blurt out insults. Since we already didn’t want to say that, we now have to deal with the repercussions of possibly having insulted someone.


If you are like me, the apology is actually the worst part. It’s not that you aren’t sorry, I’m sure you are falling apart at the seams as you replay whatever it was that you let slip out. It’s that you’ve already done something out of character and now you have to force your absolutely appalled self back out of your shell once again to do damage control. The nightmare is never-ending.

As someone who currently owes someone a huge apology, this is my advice:

1. Don’t do it through text message. Yeah, I get it. It’s so much easier, you don’t have to see their face, and you really don’t want to talk to them at the moment, but it’s rude. You need to do it face to face.

2. Get it over with. Stop waiting until you’ve completely fallen apart and convinced yourself that the other person hates you. Guess what? The longer you wait, the more irritated the person may get. You were mean to them, so bite the bullet and tell them you are sorry.

3. Stop with the self-deprecating thoughts. Yeah, you said something wrong but so does everyone. It’s probably not as bad as you think it is, and the only reason it’s dragging on is because you are letting it. You’re still a good person.

Being non-confrontational doesn’t mean that you can hide after saying something you regret. People still go to restaurants after telling the waitress to enjoy their meal or move on from that incredibly awkward phone call to some random business where they told the person that they loved them.

An apology is just “Hi, I’m sorry for ________ because __________.” That’s all. You don’t even have to stick around afterward. It’ll be okay.

Get your butt out of bed and apologize, you non-confrontational prick.