It’s November, which means every lady’s favorite season- No Shave November. Because seriously, who doesn’t love a guy with some nicely grown facial hair? Now, as a slave to social media (like most of us are) I noticed that a lot of people- men and women, are posting very similar tweets about No Shave November. They all look something like this:
@lametwitterhandle: Girls who participate in No Shave November will also participate in No D December.
Okay. What? First of all, what does that even mean? Does this “D” mean, Dickenson? dates? dudes? Dum Dums? or d*ck? If you’re going to write a nasty, anti-feminist tweet, at least specify what us unshaven ladies will be missing out on. Because, like, if I can’t make my own decision to shave, how could I possibly figure out what you’re talking about?
All kidding aside here- these tweets may seem harmless at first, but I couldn’t help but let them stick with me, especially with how often they were appearing on my Twitter feed. It was like every third or fourth tweet I saw had something to do with unshaven girls not getting laid. According to The Daily Dot, this tweet had been retweeted 17,000 times in one day. What the hell?
An election season in which women’s rights was a hotbed issue has come to a close. Members of Congress who tossed around terms like “legitimate rape” are no longer leading our nation. The American people have spoken and decided that women’s rights are, in fact, important. More importantly, the American people have spoken on the Internet about how ignorant those who are against gender equality/birth control/choice actually are. During this election season, it was impossible to log onto Twitter, Tumblr, or Facebook and not see a million posts about this anti-feminist form of ignorance. Comedians like Michael Ian Black, Chelsea V. Peretti, and Jeopardy contestant Ken Jennings all shared their views against these ignoramuses in a humorous and informative way. Chelsea V. Peretti Tweeted immediately after Obama’s re-election that “it’s a sad day for rapists” among many other thought provoking and funny tweets.
So, what’s with all this “No D December” nonsense? One would think that with all of this negative backlash on the Internet that people would think twice before they post something backwards.
The truth is, telling a woman what to do with her body hair is the same as telling a woman what to do with her uterus. They are both private and personal things that shouldn’t be dictated by anyone but the individual that the hairy legs/uterus belongs to. And anyway, what year is this? The last I checked it was 2012, not 1917. Plus, I think all of us ladies are fully capable of making our own decisions when it comes to our lives, and our personal grooming habits. If I feel like letting my vagina get a little furry then so be it. If I don’t want to shave my legs for 4 months, then whatever. And trust me- if someone wants to “give me their D” and I “want their D” I don’t think my leg hair will deter them. Could you imagine that scene?
“Hang on, let me take my stockings off,” Chelsea said as she seductively peeled off her black tights. Hubert watched her tentatively, but quickly began to reel back in disgust.
“Maybe you should put those back on,” he said as he grimaced and buckeled his belt.
“Why? These aren’t the ones with the hole in the crotch.” She admitted as she cocked her head, attempting to look cute and innocent.
“Well… when was the last time you uh… shaved your legs?”
I’m sorry. That has never happened to me, and probably will never happen to me because I don’t choose to allow completely superficial ***holes into my body. Plus, how many guys have you gone down on that take care of their bush? Because in my (limited) experience, I can’t think of many.
Double standards aside, personal preference is personal preference. So please, stop telling me what to do. Stop telling us what to do. We are ladies, and if we choose to partake in No Shave November, I highly doubt it will end in No D December.