My Worst Nights Out

*We do not condone underage drinking! If you’re planning on drinking please be safe and responsible. These stories are for entertainment purposes and tips to avoid these struggles only.


I’d love to say that the time I leaned on the door of the D-bus and almost fell out as we rounded a turn was the worst of my going out experiences. Of those that I remember (or those that had to be told to me), these are the few that I should have learned from. I hope you can take something away from my terrible life choices.


The time I woke up in the hospital: When I went to meet my friend, she was already half a bottle of tequila in and for some reason I was required to drink the other half. Given that I was late, I had only half an hour before leaving for the bars to finish that bottle. I should have said no, but I didn’t. Before we even left for the bars, I was already very drunk. I vaguely remember yelling at someone about politics while he laughed rather patronizingly. We went to the bars, took a few more tequila shots, lost each other, and then I blacked out. At 7 a.m., I woke in the hospital still drunk. I will never forget the disappointment of all the nurses as I wandered out, though I couldn’t tell you how I got out of the hospital or to my friends' house. But, hey, I made it.

Tips to avoid this: Please, don’t chug half a bottle of anything in half an hour. It’s not worth it. If your friend is pressuring you into doing so, find someone else to hang with for the night. Cut off your friends when you can tell that they are getting drunk and don’t continue to buy shots for them. Also, keep track of your friends at the bar. I probably needed to go to the hospital, but it would have been a better situation had I managed to stay with my friends.


The time I carried a friend home: She is a great person who cares deeply for others and that tends to get her into trouble. This time it was a boy because it’s always a boy. To be fair, this time it wasn’t because the one she was dating but not dating was dancing with another girl. It was an issue surrounding her best friend and her accidentally spilling the beans on something she didn’t want him to know. It was a whole ordeal of her crying on the floor in the back room, angrily shoving him into a wall when she came to terms with the information, and then stomping out into the street. While I’m aware that she has made it home plenty of times without me, I have no idea how. I propped her up as she tried to stop in the street and steered her home, making sure she was in bed and asleep before I left. There are many times where this has happened, but this is just the most notable.

Tips to avoid this: Sometimes you have to deal with things when they occur. Even though this situation was about the information that involved someone else, it helps to make sure things are taken care of beforehand. Never get so drunk that you can’t have a conversation or relax when people try and make you feel better. If your friend lets something slip while very drunk and you are sober, handle it once you get them home. Also, realize that boys who dance with other girls while drunk is not good enough for you. But most of all, MAKE SURE YOUR FRIENDS GET HOME.


The time I got carried home: This likely qualifies as my lowest point. Although I had already woken up in the hospital, this situation was just that little bit worse and harder to live down. Lots was going wrong with my personal life and I was living with a friend, meaning my mental state was off and I wasn’t eating because it wasn’t my food. So when someone handed me a bottle of tequila and told me to chug, I was so ready. I started drinking at 8:30 and blacked out by 9. While this is a new record, it’s not something I’m proud to admit. At one point, I was trying to dance and falling every fifteen seconds. People have told me that I fell asleep on the stairs. Some guy was very excited to tell me that I used his room to puke for a solid two hours. There are photos of me puking into a bucket (which I filled). Three people had to come save me. They got me into the street and then realized that I was more determined to get hit by a car than make it home. Eventually, one had to carry me so I didn’t end up at the hospital again. Thanks, dude.

Tips to avoid this: Don’t chug from a bottle (a common theme for me). Make sure you are mentally okay before you add alcohol to the mix. Please eat something before you go out. And if you do end up in a situation like this and my other tips have missed their mark, make sure you have friends who are willing to walk into a strangers house to pick you up and carry you home.


Honestly, just avoid tequila. Be safe, babes.