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Love, Etc.: Boy-Friends

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Oswego chapter.

Let’s face it- our guy friends are indispensable. They’re our looking glass into guy world, they give great advice and they make us laugh. Having them around is important especially when you’re chugging through four years of co-ed life. Here’s a quick guide on how to utilize them appropriately and keep them by your side.

Choose wisely. We meet a whole series of male personalities in college that vary from the stereotypical Lax-Bro to the laid-back photographer. Some guys have more experience with relationships and some have more experience with pranking friends. The guy friend whose brain you pick for relationship advice might be different than the one you watch Sunday football with, and that’s perfectly okay. It’s unrealistic for us to expect one person to fulfill all of our needs, so be choosy!

Be careful about how you talk about other girls. While it’s easy to get possessive with guy friends, it’s vital that you be a cheerleader for other girls. This is especially important for girls that your guy friends are interested in dating. If a guy trusts you enough to ask for your advice regarding members of your sex, he’ll feel betrayed if you immediately shoot down someone he’s interested in. That being said, if you know a girl is trouble, find a way to express your concern without making it sound like gossip or jealousy. A guy will respond better to “I’m worried about how she might treat you” versus “I heard she’s ____, don’t date her.”

If it feels like “Girl Talk” it probably is! We know boys look at girls who take some extra time to do their hair or make up, but they’re barely interested in the process. They’re also less interested in the “he said, she said” of campus life. We have our girlfriends to talk gossip and mascara. Utilize your guy friends for the things your girlfriends are clueless about…and feel free to cut them off when you’ve heard enough about Sports Center.

Make sure your friendship is FRIENDLY. There’s a phrase “don’t s—t where you eat” (gross, I know) and it’s true. Getting involved with a close guy friend may be the gateway to a great romantic relationship—or complete disaster. Even for those who likes to keep things casual, a FWB (friend with benefits) may seem ideal, but it’s important to remember that usually one of the people involved in this type of relationship is (or is going to become) emotionally invested and (inevitably) disappointed. If you do really like one of your male companions, there’s no need to sever the relationship, but you should create safe boundaries to protect yourself and your friendship.

Kaitlin Provost graduated from SUNY Oswego, majoring in journalism with a learning agreement in photography. She grew up in five different towns all over the Northeast, eventually settling and graduating from high school in Hudson, Massachusetts. Kait now lives in the blustery town of Oswego, New York, where she can frequently be found running around like a madwoman, avoiding snow drifts taller than her head (which, incidentally, is not very tall). She has worked for her campus newspaper, The Oswegonian, as the Assistant News Editor, and is also the President of the Oswego chapter of Ed2010, a national organization which helps students break into the magazine industry. She hopes to one day work for National Geographic and travel the world.