I’m sure we all have certain songs that speak volumes to a time in our lives or act as direct representations of our moods for the day. I for one take music to a much different gray area that separates the music junkies from the tasteless hipsters because the way I listen to music is fairly specific.
For starters, I completely adore indie music — specifically The Front Bottoms, Vance Joy, The Lumineers, Jack Johnson, New Politics, etc., which all get favorited on my Spotify where instead of making a coherent playlist I simply play my “Favorite Song” section on the app. Along with my messy style of jamming to tunes, I also religiously follow my process of finding new indie music by playing random indie playlists while adding bands and songs I’ve never heard of to my own playlist (of course I use the term playlist loosely because, once again, I am the hot mess version of a DJ and/or the WORST person to hand the aux as I previously mentioned). The fun part about having all these random songs on my playlist is that, as they circulate through I begin to rediscover them, so in an attempt to revisit these mysterious no-name songs, I decide at the moment to screenshot them as a mental note.
Currently, my screenshot gallery is busting at the seems, practically fighting their way out of my phone, so why not give them a platform to say their peace? If my playlist could talk, let’s see what it would say about me.
1. “Life’s Too Short” – Wild Party
(Screenshot on Aug. 22)
“Who knew I’d miss the pleasure, heal me from myself
Who knew I’d know too much, what’s pressure to my health?
I’m coughing ’cause I’m anxious
Anxious ’cause I know
My future’s inching close and where am I to go?
I just don’t know”
This was the first song that I discovered from this band, so it was already monumental to my life at that moment but it also meant a lot to me since I discovered it two days before moving miles away to a brand new life in college. These lines reflect my anxious little bubble of a life because I had no idea where my college journey would take me.
2. “Start Somewhere” – A Yawn Worth Yelling
( Screenshot on Aug. 22)
“And everyone around us sees you hiding
Behind the widest walls that you can find
But I am tired of not understanding why you change your mind”
Post-breakup me was LIVING for this song that represented the start of new beginnings and an actual healthy relationship. Not only does this song offer an amazing instrumental of ukulele, bass guitar, and fantastic drums, but the harmonies are off the chart. These lines really spoke to me because unlike my last relationship, the song acted as a caring loved one checking in on someone, which made me feel heard. It also doesn’t hurt when it’s being sung in a soft-spoken male falsetto either.
3. “Girl”- Jukebox The Ghost
(Screenshot on Sept. 2)
“Cause when you meet someone new
It all just takes over you
And you think that you never really tried
Open your heart, open your mind
Girl, you’re gonna take me
Back to a time when I loved and I meant it
Girl, you’re gonna save me
Give me a chance, it’s worth taking”
I’m not going to lie to you right now, I was a major flirt early on in college. Don’t get me wrong, I was classy and only went on a couple first dates just to completely ghost the guys since commitment issues really do exist, ladies! Specifically, this song came at a time when I was talking to a sweet guy who took me on late car rides and swapped indie music with me. Just like this song, he was truly adamant about me giving him a chance. Of course, my commitment issues intervened, but I will continue to harmlessly remember him whenever I hear this song.
4. “Death Cup”- Mom Jeans
(Screenshot on Sept. 2)
“What do you want me to say
When I can’t tell you the truth?
Please tell me how the fuck
I’m supposed to deal with losing you
So what’s the point of talking
If you’re not changing your mind?
It just reminds me of the lying
And it’s wasting my time”
Here’s the point the where my inner emo comes out and I’m forced to face the fact that being a flirt can really hurt others. I lost one of my best friends early on in college because I was hurting them by leading them on subconsciously, which meant he was heartbroken for weeks while I paid no mind to it since I simply wanted to keep my male best friend. It’s true — you can’t have your cake and eat it too.
5. “San Francisco” – The Mowgli’s
(Screenshot Sept. 7)
“Well, I lost my head in San Francisco
Waiting for the fog to roll out
But I found it in a rain cloud
It was smiling down
Do you feel the love? I feel the love
C’mon, c’mon, let’s start it up
Let it pour out of your soul”
Somehow I was at the bright beginnings of a relationship here on campus, so of course, because of that, I was all over any song that represented even the slightest twinge of love. The day I discovered this song was the night that our relationship was finally official, and I can remember having him over to watch “Tarzan” (as random as it seems), and exclaiming to him how obsessed I’ve been with this particular song.
6. “Rose & Gold” – Young Rising Sons
(Screenshot on Sept. 11)
“And I had to fall
Before I learned to stand up
Repaint these walls
A brighter shade of red and gold
What’s lost is lost
But now I’m gonna stand up”
Being the ambitious freshman I am near this part of the semester, I was already full-fledged in the “Freshmen Fever” mentality. This meant I was running around plastering my face on everything and anything in sight. This song represents my determination even when I was told that freshmen can’t handle that much involvement.
7. “Run” – Coin
(Screenshot Sept. 12)
“Call the television evangelist
Tell them all to grab another arm to twist this time
And if you’re thinking that you might commit
You won’t unfold what you don’t really know
Something tells me that you’re never gonna stop ’til you get what you want
Don’t you tell me
That you never even thought
Maybe we could run”
A truly fun, energetic number that just related to my empowering nature of putting myself first.
8. “Dull” – Microwave
(Screenshot on Sept. 13)
“You are the only thing I like
And you’ve been with me all the time
So while you’re somewhere out with your friends
I’m back here blowing up your cell phone
I’ve been practicing my lines
And you’ve been waiting up all night for me to call you
It makes me sick inside to be calling you up this late at night
But that’s what I do”
This song shows how the busier I became, my time became very precious (as it should be for everyone). It really reflected the fact that I and everyone else worked around my busy schedule.
9. “Cocoon” – Catfish and the Bottlemen
(Screenshot on Sept. 18)
“And if you wanna shut down and pose as positive and
Hide smoking from relatives and
Rest on me
Honey, that’s alright
And if you wanna act more drunk than usual
To help you get away with more than
Rest on me
Honey, that’s alright
Honey, that’s alright”
This song is an outright fuck you to everyone else’s opinion, literally as stated in the song, but more especially in my life at that moment. The bridge here is a seperate intimate moment in the song that is almost a check in to say how much he notices how she’s hurting and the stance of letting yourself feel the pain rather than act tough which counters the song’s main message. I felt this song at the time because my personal friendships began to twist into negative influences that made me feel like I was against the world.
10. “Endless Summer” – Grizfolk
(Screenshot on Sept. 22)
“Happiness isn’t just a feeling
The summer never sets, I’ve seen it
If there’s a light in the dark, I need it now
It’s stronger than a love that’s fleeting
We’re more than just a heart that’s beating
Roll me slowly, right up to the season I love”
I needed this positivity, I needed someone to tell me that happiness was obtainable because as the month went on, I began to lose hope for the aspirations I wanted while my relationship turned toxic as well.
11. “In My Mind” – Walk The Moon
(Screenshot on Sept. 26)
“So I take this knife
And cut you out of my life
So I erase this night
And rewrite you out of my mind
I no longer have the voice to say goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Oh in my mind
You won’t be in my mind
You won’t be in my mind”
As I suffered through the messy conclusion of a toxic relationship, I remember during one of our usual fights when my boyfriend was telling me all the ways I should change to better meet his needs, I screenshotted this song. Looking at it now, I was definitely trying to block him and all the negativity out just like the lyrics say.
11. “Off She Goes” – Bad Suns
(Screenshot on Oct. 2)
“When you can’t believe in yourself
All you hear is anyone else
And if you’d just believe in yourself
We can tune out everyone else
That’s all right
Oh, that’s all right
Not only do I love the fact that I always say “look at em’ go” whenever something positive happens in my life (it reminds me of this song) but it truly represented new beginnings for me. Here we are at the start of October, full circle, starting over again. There’s something about how the falsetto lines telling me to keep being strong, as if they believed in me, was enough to push me forward.